What did I accomplish during Day 14 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
14th January 2012 - JOHNNY ENGLISH REBORN
I liked the original Johnny English. Maybe it's because I remember the original MI7 Barclaycard adverts that featured Johnny & his sidekick Bough. The first film had some amazingly funny moments in it. This film, not so much. Granted, its is funny but it seems like Rowan Atkinson scaled down the funny bits.
Surprised to see Gillian Andersen in it tho, especially portraying an English accent that sounds like she had elocution lessons from Kevin Costner & Russell Crowe. The bad guy, as always, is a brit. But he doesnt have the ruthfulness of an Alan Rickman. Hell, he isn't even as camp as John Malkovich was in the first film.
If watching a rubber faced senior citizen outrunning every fast car available whilst on a high-powered wheelchair is your thing then give this a go. For some reason this should have been my sort of film - there's slapstick & people getting kicked in the balls, but it just wasn't that great.
14th January 2012 - RUSH HOUR
Yes, I know, I went through this trilogy really arse-about-face, but hey, at least I saved the best to last. For the second film in a row today, the bad guy is a brit, this time its a senior citizen stripper from Sheffield (if you've seen the Full Monty then you'll get that).
This is the only film that I can just about tolerate Chris Tucker. He takes being a gay black man to a new extreme. He wants to be a bad ass but can't quite stop sucking cock. Jackie Chan is the same character has has always played, and race relations between China and the West have died a little.
Why did they choose Rush Hour as the title? Aside from a kidnapping in early Los Angeles traffic, theres no mention of a Rush Hour, nor is there any such thing in either of the sequels. Its just a crazy fish-out-of water story that sort of worked in the sequel but didn't work at all in the 3rd.
Thankfully, Rush Hour is over, and Chris Tucker hasnt worked since the 3rd one. There is a god.
14th January 2012 - THE OTHERS
Not technically a brit, but Nicole Kidman does an amazing english accent, so this heart-warming tale of a homicidal & suicidal english woman who believes her house is haunted does have a "brit" as the bad guy.
So, this should come as no surpise that there is a "twist" to this film, yet if you pay attention you will know that isn't the case at all, as the signs were there about 20 minutes into it. Her kids were kept in the dark as they would burn otherwise, probably because they're vampires. That would have been a good twist right? Vampire children murdered by their mum, come back to haunt their house.
This was advertised as a very chilling film. Nope. It is suspenseful but its not as chilling as other films, such as The Phantom Menace. Or Big Bad Women in heat, though that is one of my artistic favourites.
14th January 2012 - STARCHASER: THE LEGEND OF ORIN
I remember watching this film at the old Cannon cinema on London Road (it closed down many years ago and is now a Halfords) back in 1985, as a 6 year old Star Wars fan. This was billed as Star Wars by cartoon. Remember, this was back in the day when animation was only Disney family films. This was also back in the day when films had an intermission halfway through, and was the last film I remember seeing that had that.
It tells the tale of Orin, a miner from Mineworld who finds a hikt of a sword whilst mining & uses it to run away with his female worker & a blind kid. Running through a furnace to escape the Battlestar Galactica robot captors they run through a furnace & realise its all been a lie & that there is a planet above them. Or something along those lines.
One thing I noticed about this is that its really fucking dark! Man bots cutting body parts off people to make them look better, some of the heroes dying straight away. This aint no kids film, especially when you find out where the Fembots have their personality chips (its up their hershey highway).
How the hell George Lucas didn't sue somebody over this is beyond me. Young boy who wants to break out of his boring life = check. Troopers working for a higher power = check. A planetshaped ship = check. Some lightsaber related stuff = check (granted they are light-whips but the sword also lights up). A dark lord = check. Droids = check. Trust me when I say that whilst this isn't that good, it's much better than the Phantom Menace.
14th January 2012 - ED WOOD
Its Tim Burton. Its Johnny Depp. Its the story of one of the worst directors in the world. And its goood! Ed Wood was always cheery & had ideas of shit films he wanted to make, no matter of cost or the actual look of the films. Since he died (after making nudie monster films) his films became cult classics. And they are awful. The sort of films you make when you're about 6.
I want dismiss this film or knock it in any way. It served a good purpose in explaining the life of a conflicted genius (I use that term in the loosest sense). Plus, Sarah Jessica Parker gets told she looks like a horse. You've heard that said about her before right? Yeah, thats from this film. And thats why Ed Wood rocks as a film.
So the tally for the week ended up at 20 films viewed, thats one more than my required average of 19 a week. Will week 3 be accomplished? I fricking hope so!
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