Thursday 12 January 2012

2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 11

What did I accomplish during Day 11 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:

11th January 2012 - RUSH HOUR 3
Yesterday I watched Rush Hour 2.  Granted its an okay film but this isnt.  It tries to be the first Rush Hour, but fails.  You wonder why Chris Tucker hasn't had a job since...actually, you don't need to.  Its painfully obvious.  He is shit.  Simples.

You know why I hated this film?  Because its trying to be something its not - don't believe me, check out the scene at the karate dojo & tell me its not trying to copy Austin Powers!  The first & 2nd Rush Hour films were unique as they involved 2 different lifestyles coming together to solve a crime.  In the first its the chinese in LA, whilst its reversed in the 2nd film.  In Rush Hour 3 there's nothing unique, but as its a sequel its obviously set in a foreign place, namely garlic munching Paris.

Whilst I sat and watched this, I think I spent around 60 minutes thinking about stabbing myself in the head with a fork, whilst shouting WHY GOD, WHY?  I DISLIKE THIS FILM BUT CANT STOP WATCHING IT.  SMITE ME OH SMITEY SMITER!!!  The plot involves the ambassador from the first film getting shot & Chris Tucker trying not to be gay & sex up the ambassadors daughter.  Who was only ten in 2001.  Yet at 17 she's fair game.  You have to admire Hollywood for just keeping shy of the paedo range...

God forbid them if they decide to make Rush Hour 4...yet the completist in me will still buy it to have all 4 films.  I must have a problem.

11th January 2012 - CURSED
Oh Wes Craven.  What happened to you?  You made some damn good horror films in the 70s & 80s, then redefined the slasher genre in the 90s with the Scream franchise.  He even moved away from horror with the film Red Eye (which was very good indeed as a tense thriller).  Then he made this turgid pile of dog crap.

Really?  A teen werewolf movie?  Aside from American Werewolf in London (not Paris, those CG motherfuckers should be denied their entry into the world of film), The Howling and Dog Soldiers, werewolf films suck major arse.  Granted Christina Ricci & her wobbly boobies kept me watching, but the fake michael cera (Jesse Einsberg) as a geek turned gay icon wrestler, and Joshua Jackson as...well, every character he's ever played in his life...really didn't get my attention.

Unfortunately, the story of brother, sister & their dog becoming werewolves in Hollywood could have been better.  First off, why the feck did Bowling for Soup get star billing?  Not everyone died - which I was hoping.  And having lived in Hollywood I knew the locations in the film (other than Hollywood Boulevard) were actually filmed in San Fernando Valley or the Frisco Bay.  You can't beat me Wes, I'm a smart motherfucking werewolf!

If you have seen the 3 named werewolf films above but are curious, please watch an episode of the X-Files where the native americans are getting slaughtered by a wolf.  Thats hardcore badass & it runs 40 minutes less than this pile of stinking cesspit puke!  Plus points only include Christina Ricci's boobs, but they get marked down for staying covered up.  Shame on you Wes!!!!!

11th January 2012 - PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
People seem to dislike this film.  I have no idea why.  I really enjoy it, especially James "Harry Osbourne" Franco as Saul - he does play a damn good comedic role, and Seth Rogen gives us chunky guys hope.

All the supporting actors are from films & shows that generally star each other, so you know they had a damn good giggle making this.  Plus, Ed Begley Jr - the eco actor - is hilarious as a foul-mouthed father trying to keep his daughter away from Seth Rogen (to be fair, if I had kids I'd keep them away, I've seen Zack & Miri Make a Porno).

Like people pretending their thumb is a penis?  Like people getting shot & still carrying on in a semi-lucid state?  Like weed?  Then you would enjoy this film.  The dialogue is great & the violence is almost slapstick.  Theres a car chase & some damge to someones nutsack (not through getting kicked in the balls tho) so that made it for me.  It just needed boobs.  Where's Christina Ricci these days?

So the tally so far for the 2nd week is 10 films viewed.  I have 3 days left this week to watch 9 more films.  Will I do it?  Keep an eye on the blog!

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