What's this blog post all about I hear you cry (well, I say cry, but you're probably not even saying it, let alone think it. You're probably thinking please god not another wrestling blog post...well, your prayers have been answered because this isn't one of those posts). Well, this is my look at some of the things I enjoy.
I like to make lists. I'm an organised person. I make To Do lists at work. I categorise my favourite films & albums into a list. I make Pro & Con lists after I meet a prospective female mate. Its what I do. Call it OCD, but it helps me put things into perspective in a way.
This blog post will be full of lists. These will include random lists, but will give you an insight into my life & what makes me tick. Some of you reading this may also have made lists. If so, please feel free to let me know & elaborate why you chose what you did. It's weird, but certain things can spark an idea. This blog post was created because someone asked me what my favourite film was, & I could only name my top two. This got me thinking, what are my favourite things? Like most people, tastes change all the time. I know mine do. If you ask what some of my favourite things are now I can guarantee that these were all different at least 6 months beforehand.
Lets start off with music. Over the years I've had the fortune (sometimes misfortune) to appreciate a number of genres of music, and most people would claim that I have a very eclectic music library. Being a DJ (especially one who caters for private parties more than club nights) I have to ensure that I can play anything from the 50's onwards. When I look back as to what I actually grew up with & enjoyed, I find that I'm now moving back into that realm of music.
I have tried so hard to remember the songs & albums that shaped my youth, that provided me the ability to appreciate every kind of music. It's weird, I can remember the first vinyl single, the first vinyl album, the first cassette album & the first CD I ever purchased, but I can't remember the first piece of music I ever heard. As a rambuctious youth I was always kept "mellowed" out (if you consider air guitaring & jumping off the front room furniture) by the Queen Greatest Hits album. But then I also had memories of hearing Elton John, The Carpenters, Black Sabbath, Jimi Hendrix, Barry White, Chuck Berry, Edison Lighthouse & many more, especially during Sunday lunchtimes when we would chow down on a roast dinner to the aural delights of the Jimmy Saville show on Radio 1.
At school I was one of the odd ones out. Whilst my schoolmates enjoyed the "delights" of rave and Jungle music, I would always be found listening to AC/DC, Guns N Roses, Iron Maiden and Metallica. The whole boyband & pop phase never really made its way to me, though I did own the 2 Unlimited album, as well as the cassette single for Jamaican In New York. Come to think of it, I may even have owned Mr Loverman by Shabba Ranks. Ok, so I listened to some pap, but 95% of my music collection was rock related.
Towards the end of my school life I became affected by the Britpop phenomenon that was spreading around the UK. I wasn't a supporter of Blur or Oasis, I liked them both, along with Shed Seven, The Supernaturals, Echobelly, Cast, The Seahorses, Mansun, Embrace & more. Outside of school I knew enough people that wanted to go to gigs but would always be boring & stand at the back. That wasn't (& still - to a degree - isn't) my mantra & I was lucky enough to be one of the people picked up & caught on camera in the Oasis video Live By the Sea (I was also in their video for Rock N Roll Star). I was also at Mile End when Blur returned home & managed to get three rows from the front to really rock on - not bad for a 16 year old right?
At college I met one of my closest friends who got me into heavier industrial vibes (NIN, Marilyn Manson, KMFDM, Ministry). From there I moved onto heavier bands (Pantera, Machine Head, Korn, Metallica, Slipknot), and the only progression from there was even heavier (Arch Enemy, The Haunted). I've always been into heavy stuff but over the last couple of years my tastes have changed. I compared my playlist of today with that of one I made (& noted on facebook on the 16th May 2011). Back then my playlist contained 41 songs by 38 bands/artists. Today, I only have 1 artist from that playlist on my iPod.
So now I get to that part where I list my favourite music related things.
My Favourite Song of All Time: Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd
My Favourite Album of All Time: Mechanical Animals by Marilyn Manson
My Favourite Gig of All Time: Black Stone Cherry & Rival Sons at Kentish Town Forum, 28th March 2012
My Favourite Bands of All Time: Lynyrd Skynyrd, Queen, Black Stone Cherry, Arch Enemy, Metallica
The Band I've Seen Live the Most: Black Stone Cherry (7 times)
I'm Currently Listening To: Invaders Must Die by the Prodigy
The Last 10 Tracks I Listened To Are: 1. Lesser Man by Soil, 2. Autre Temps by Alcest, 3. Emerge by Fischerspooner, 4. Supersonic Sex Machine by Steel Panther, 5. Born to Raise Hell by Motorhead/Ice T, 6. Dark Night by The Blasters, 7. Voodoo People (Live) by The Prodigy, 8. Sister Christian by Night Ranger, 9. Jordan by Buckethead, 10. Push Push (Lady Lightning by Bang Camaro
The Last 10 Albums I Listened To Are: 1. Rise by The Answer, 2. Live at London Astoria by Black Stone Cherry, 3. Seeking Major Tom by William Shatner, 4. Born Villain by Marilyn Manson, 5. Picture Perfect by Soil, 7. Rise of the Fenix by Tenacious D, 8. Balls Out by Steel Panther, 9. Les Voyages De L'Ame by Alcest, 10. Get Your Wings by Aerosmith.
The Last CD I Purchased: Between the Devil & the Deep Blue Sea by Black Stone Cherry
The First CD I Ever Purchased: Boss Drum by The Shamen
The First Vinyl I Ever Purchased: Don't You Want Me by the Human League
The First Cassette I Ever Purchased: Bad by Michael Jackson
The First Gig I Ever Went To: Oasis at the Cliffs Pavillion in 1994
The Last Gig I Went To: Black Stone Cherry & Rival Sons at Kentish Town Forum, 28th March 2012
The Next Gig Lined Up: Lynyrd Skynyrd at Hammersmith Apollo, 3rd June 2012
First Festival I Ever Went To: Phoenix Festival, 1995
Last Festival I Ever Went To: Download Festival, June 2011
Tuesday 15 May 2012
Friday 11 May 2012
My take on Wrestling - Part 2
It's been a while since I last put fingers to keys & described how I got into the wrestling business as a fan (I'm not actually in the business, but I needed an opening that can draw the reader in...), and having not long watched the latest pay per view put out by the WWE, I feel compelled to write a further blog about the wonderful world of wrestling.
In "My take on Wrestling - Part 1", I wrote that I got into wrestling in 1988, specifically around the annual Thanksgiving extravaganza that was Survivor Series. Once I watched it, I was hooked. My life suddenly became wrestling. It's not that I was overly obsessed, I was just an energetic & excitable 9 year old. As I've advised previously, one of my friends had access to SKY and was able to video all the shows & pay per views possible - for a fee - so for the first couple of years I was able to keep up-to-date with the Tuesday Night Titans (the old-school fan will get that).
Unfortunately, in 1990 I ended up going to a completely different school to my friend, and he ended up moving out of the area and we lost touch for a number of years (I actually heard from him about 3 years ago, & he's happily married with 3 kids & not into wrestling anymore). A plus point at this time was the emergence of a Blockbuster Video at the top of my road. At the time, I was not a fan of having it there, as my mates dad owned Supervideo, which was also at the top of my road, & was a good family run store that would always give away free posters, as well as book films in advance (there was never more than 1 copy of a film at any given time). However, Supervideo didn't stock WWF videos. Blockbuster did. Every tape released in the UK was available there from the 1st Wrestlemania onwards. I ended up getting a membership & devouring all of them. They also had WCW but to me they were just an inferior product.;
From 1990 to 1993 I brought anything I could afford that had something to do with the WWF (this included a sticker album - the only sticker album that I ever completed - and the innaugural WWF Superstars album that contained Slam Jam (an awesome song)). Then it happened. Wrestlemania 9. The worst ending to a PPV ever as the old-and-boring Hulk Hogan effectively stole the WWF title. Don't get me wrong, as a 9 year old I was a Hulkamniac but, having added another 5 years to my life I realised that he was what was wrong with the business - the same tired moves & refusal to be beaten, Its weird that as a 14 year old I could see that Hogan was ruining the business, yet people kept (and still keep) hiring him. I admire his charisma & the way he works a crowd but come on, the man can't wrestle no more! I was into the more technical wrestlers at this time - Ric Flair, Bret Hart & Shawn Michaels were guys I looked up to, so I was shocked that Bret lost to Yoko who then lost to Hogan. It was obviously his way of becoming champ without beating one of the best in the business.
Following this horrible upset I quit watching wrestling. I went to school & carried on with my life, feeling good about things. I met girls, and we did a lot more than wrestle. I matured from that energetic wrestling fan (who at one point had heckled Pat "The Bomber" Roach at a live event in Southend that also featured Big Daddy, Giant Haystacks & Geoff Capes) into a well-rounded individual. Granted, a perverted individual, but I at least had morals & no longer watched wrestling.
In January 1999, I started working at Demon Internet. After an interim few months getting to know people, a friend tried to get me to watch wrestling again. I explained I used to be a fan but time had passed & I doubt I would be interested again. My interest was piqued though when I watched some video clips of Raw on the WWF site. As I was moving into a flat with one of my workmates & we had Sky Sports, I decided to give it a watch. So it was with great trepidation that I stayed up til 1am & watched Over the Edge in May 1999. Those of you that are in the know will remember that this is the PPV during which Owen Hart died. I aim to go into a blog about dead wrestlers at some point, so I won't go into detail about Owen at this time.
I was amazed at how risque wrestling had become - it really was full of sex & violence at this time (this was during the amazing attitude era) so I became hooked again, though not in a fanboy way. I took the time to go back & watch everything from Wrestlemania 9 onwards, using E-Bay as a way to obtain all the old tapes. In the past 13 years since my return to wrestling I've seen a lot, enjoyed a lot & - more often than not - been disappointed a lot. I don't confess to being a great fan these days, but I do enjoy the odd PPV from time-to-time, as long as there's some good booking and a good feud in there.
I would try to put together a list of the finest matches I've ever been privvy to see, but that is a daunting job, and a definite possibility for another blog...
In "My take on Wrestling - Part 1", I wrote that I got into wrestling in 1988, specifically around the annual Thanksgiving extravaganza that was Survivor Series. Once I watched it, I was hooked. My life suddenly became wrestling. It's not that I was overly obsessed, I was just an energetic & excitable 9 year old. As I've advised previously, one of my friends had access to SKY and was able to video all the shows & pay per views possible - for a fee - so for the first couple of years I was able to keep up-to-date with the Tuesday Night Titans (the old-school fan will get that).
Unfortunately, in 1990 I ended up going to a completely different school to my friend, and he ended up moving out of the area and we lost touch for a number of years (I actually heard from him about 3 years ago, & he's happily married with 3 kids & not into wrestling anymore). A plus point at this time was the emergence of a Blockbuster Video at the top of my road. At the time, I was not a fan of having it there, as my mates dad owned Supervideo, which was also at the top of my road, & was a good family run store that would always give away free posters, as well as book films in advance (there was never more than 1 copy of a film at any given time). However, Supervideo didn't stock WWF videos. Blockbuster did. Every tape released in the UK was available there from the 1st Wrestlemania onwards. I ended up getting a membership & devouring all of them. They also had WCW but to me they were just an inferior product.;
From 1990 to 1993 I brought anything I could afford that had something to do with the WWF (this included a sticker album - the only sticker album that I ever completed - and the innaugural WWF Superstars album that contained Slam Jam (an awesome song)). Then it happened. Wrestlemania 9. The worst ending to a PPV ever as the old-and-boring Hulk Hogan effectively stole the WWF title. Don't get me wrong, as a 9 year old I was a Hulkamniac but, having added another 5 years to my life I realised that he was what was wrong with the business - the same tired moves & refusal to be beaten, Its weird that as a 14 year old I could see that Hogan was ruining the business, yet people kept (and still keep) hiring him. I admire his charisma & the way he works a crowd but come on, the man can't wrestle no more! I was into the more technical wrestlers at this time - Ric Flair, Bret Hart & Shawn Michaels were guys I looked up to, so I was shocked that Bret lost to Yoko who then lost to Hogan. It was obviously his way of becoming champ without beating one of the best in the business.
Following this horrible upset I quit watching wrestling. I went to school & carried on with my life, feeling good about things. I met girls, and we did a lot more than wrestle. I matured from that energetic wrestling fan (who at one point had heckled Pat "The Bomber" Roach at a live event in Southend that also featured Big Daddy, Giant Haystacks & Geoff Capes) into a well-rounded individual. Granted, a perverted individual, but I at least had morals & no longer watched wrestling.
In January 1999, I started working at Demon Internet. After an interim few months getting to know people, a friend tried to get me to watch wrestling again. I explained I used to be a fan but time had passed & I doubt I would be interested again. My interest was piqued though when I watched some video clips of Raw on the WWF site. As I was moving into a flat with one of my workmates & we had Sky Sports, I decided to give it a watch. So it was with great trepidation that I stayed up til 1am & watched Over the Edge in May 1999. Those of you that are in the know will remember that this is the PPV during which Owen Hart died. I aim to go into a blog about dead wrestlers at some point, so I won't go into detail about Owen at this time.
I was amazed at how risque wrestling had become - it really was full of sex & violence at this time (this was during the amazing attitude era) so I became hooked again, though not in a fanboy way. I took the time to go back & watch everything from Wrestlemania 9 onwards, using E-Bay as a way to obtain all the old tapes. In the past 13 years since my return to wrestling I've seen a lot, enjoyed a lot & - more often than not - been disappointed a lot. I don't confess to being a great fan these days, but I do enjoy the odd PPV from time-to-time, as long as there's some good booking and a good feud in there.
I would try to put together a list of the finest matches I've ever been privvy to see, but that is a daunting job, and a definite possibility for another blog...
Wednesday 25 April 2012
My take on Wrestling - Part 1
Ok, I'm going to get this off my chest straight away. I'm a wrestling fan. And I'm in my 30's. Thankfully I don't live at home with my parents though I do think my housemates just about tolerate my love for the "sport" of wrestling. I think the use of the word love there was possibly too much, seeing as I only tend to purchase two wrestling PPV's a year (these being the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania), whilst watching the odd highlights of an episode of Raw or Smackdown on YouTube when I get the moment. I do, on occasion, also obtain a copy of one of the other 10 PPV's dependant on how good the match card is. So, I stick to what I am, which is simply a wrestling fan.
I don't love the product - in fact it angers me at times - but I was there in the Golden Generation (the mid-late 80's), the New Generation (mid 90's), the Attitude Era (1998-2001), and the current product in all its "glory", so I think I can consider myself more than just a casual acquaintance of the wrestling scene. If you're a WCW or TNA fan, then I'm afraid this post may not be your cup of tea, as it's mainly all about the World-Wide Wrestling Federation (WWWF) / World Wrestling Federation (WWF) /World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) company that has dominated the wrestling world for over thirty years.
As a kid I took immediately to the cartoon-style characters that the (back then) WWF provided us with. I first started watching their product (which was usually just WWF Superstars) towards the end of 1988. I didn't have SKY so I didn't have access to watch the shows or PPV's that were provided on their Sports channel. Thankfully, in those days tape trading was in full force (and quite a lucrative business opportunity - one person would record the wrestling and hire it out for a night for a set fee, usually with around 25-30 people waiting for their turn - I did a similar thing in the mid-late 90's with some more adult tapes...it got me through college though!) so I was able to catch up with the exploits at Titan Towers on a weekly basis, though to a detrimental effect on my pocket money.
When I started watching the WWF, the Macho Man Randy Savage was WWF Champion, and the first PPV I watched was the 1988 Survivor Series. Forget how diluted this pay per view has become now, back in the 80's this was all about team warfare. In fact, there were only 4 matches on the card, but there was a grand total of 50 wrestlers involved. The shortest match (the opener) lasted 17 minutes and 50 seconds, whilst the second match (a 20 man elimination match) lasted 42 minutes and 12 seconds. These were days before hardcore brawls & bloodletting - there were minimal moves & lots of restholds and submission moments. Now, most matches last around 5 minutes, with maybe only one or two matches getting around 20-25 minutes
This was a groundbreaking moment for me and now, looking back nearly 14 years later, I can't believe how much the business has changed. Back in these days no-on knew that Vince McMahon owned the company, and it was simply good guy versus bad guy. Feuds could start over the smallest thing though these would last months, as back in those days there were only 4 pay per views a year (The Royal Rumble - which had just started on free TV but would become a PPV, Wrestlemania, Summerslam & Survivor Series). This meant that the majority of TV shows the WWF put out focused on wrestler vs jobber matches, along with promos & video packages highlighting feuds that were ongoing. My how times have changed!
I can't believe some of the gimmicks back in those days. You had a policeman (Big Boss Man), an ex-convict (Nailz), a voodoo priest (Papa Shango), a matador (Tito Santana), a Rooster (The Red Rooster), a turkey (The Gobbledy Gooker), a superhero (The Blue Blazer), an Elvis impersonator (The Honky Tonk Man), a barber (Brutus Beefcake), a mountie (The Mountie), the list goes on. It got even worse in the mid 90's with the introduction of such gimmicks as a hockey player (The Goon), adult baby (Bastion Booger) & a bin man (Duke "The Dumpster" Droese) among others. The Attitude Era still had their fair share (the Godfather springs instantly to mind) but it looks like gimmicks have slowly & surely been phased out. Is that a good thing? Maybe it is to some, but a good gimmick is never a bad thing. Unless you're Droz & being forced to vomit on cue in order to get a job with the then-WWF.
When you compare the past to the present, there definitely has been a change in the way that wrestling has been perceived. The product today is now called sports entertainment, as apparently the word wrestling has been banned by Vince McMahon, & its more focused on the entertainment side of things. An average 2 hour episode of Raw contains maybe 40-45 minutes of wrestling. Looking back at this past Wrestlemania, it was a 4 hour show (usually such shows only last around 3 and a half hours, though this actually finished with about 5 minutes to spare) yet there was only a total of around 118 minutes (1 hour 58 minutes) of wrestling. It seems more focused on promos & video packages, but all us decent fans want is a good card & each match to have the appropriate time for us to get into it.
The reason for this post is just to convey my feelings towards the wrestling world that I grew up with, as compared to todays current product. In the parts that follow I'll be looking back at the golden generation with my highs & lows, as well as do a more in-depth gimmick breakdown. Unfortunately, time is a factor, so I will aim to have that up within the next week. Until then, thanks for reading.
I don't love the product - in fact it angers me at times - but I was there in the Golden Generation (the mid-late 80's), the New Generation (mid 90's), the Attitude Era (1998-2001), and the current product in all its "glory", so I think I can consider myself more than just a casual acquaintance of the wrestling scene. If you're a WCW or TNA fan, then I'm afraid this post may not be your cup of tea, as it's mainly all about the World-Wide Wrestling Federation (WWWF) / World Wrestling Federation (WWF) /World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) company that has dominated the wrestling world for over thirty years.
As a kid I took immediately to the cartoon-style characters that the (back then) WWF provided us with. I first started watching their product (which was usually just WWF Superstars) towards the end of 1988. I didn't have SKY so I didn't have access to watch the shows or PPV's that were provided on their Sports channel. Thankfully, in those days tape trading was in full force (and quite a lucrative business opportunity - one person would record the wrestling and hire it out for a night for a set fee, usually with around 25-30 people waiting for their turn - I did a similar thing in the mid-late 90's with some more adult tapes...it got me through college though!) so I was able to catch up with the exploits at Titan Towers on a weekly basis, though to a detrimental effect on my pocket money.
When I started watching the WWF, the Macho Man Randy Savage was WWF Champion, and the first PPV I watched was the 1988 Survivor Series. Forget how diluted this pay per view has become now, back in the 80's this was all about team warfare. In fact, there were only 4 matches on the card, but there was a grand total of 50 wrestlers involved. The shortest match (the opener) lasted 17 minutes and 50 seconds, whilst the second match (a 20 man elimination match) lasted 42 minutes and 12 seconds. These were days before hardcore brawls & bloodletting - there were minimal moves & lots of restholds and submission moments. Now, most matches last around 5 minutes, with maybe only one or two matches getting around 20-25 minutes
This was a groundbreaking moment for me and now, looking back nearly 14 years later, I can't believe how much the business has changed. Back in these days no-on knew that Vince McMahon owned the company, and it was simply good guy versus bad guy. Feuds could start over the smallest thing though these would last months, as back in those days there were only 4 pay per views a year (The Royal Rumble - which had just started on free TV but would become a PPV, Wrestlemania, Summerslam & Survivor Series). This meant that the majority of TV shows the WWF put out focused on wrestler vs jobber matches, along with promos & video packages highlighting feuds that were ongoing. My how times have changed!
I can't believe some of the gimmicks back in those days. You had a policeman (Big Boss Man), an ex-convict (Nailz), a voodoo priest (Papa Shango), a matador (Tito Santana), a Rooster (The Red Rooster), a turkey (The Gobbledy Gooker), a superhero (The Blue Blazer), an Elvis impersonator (The Honky Tonk Man), a barber (Brutus Beefcake), a mountie (The Mountie), the list goes on. It got even worse in the mid 90's with the introduction of such gimmicks as a hockey player (The Goon), adult baby (Bastion Booger) & a bin man (Duke "The Dumpster" Droese) among others. The Attitude Era still had their fair share (the Godfather springs instantly to mind) but it looks like gimmicks have slowly & surely been phased out. Is that a good thing? Maybe it is to some, but a good gimmick is never a bad thing. Unless you're Droz & being forced to vomit on cue in order to get a job with the then-WWF.
When you compare the past to the present, there definitely has been a change in the way that wrestling has been perceived. The product today is now called sports entertainment, as apparently the word wrestling has been banned by Vince McMahon, & its more focused on the entertainment side of things. An average 2 hour episode of Raw contains maybe 40-45 minutes of wrestling. Looking back at this past Wrestlemania, it was a 4 hour show (usually such shows only last around 3 and a half hours, though this actually finished with about 5 minutes to spare) yet there was only a total of around 118 minutes (1 hour 58 minutes) of wrestling. It seems more focused on promos & video packages, but all us decent fans want is a good card & each match to have the appropriate time for us to get into it.
The reason for this post is just to convey my feelings towards the wrestling world that I grew up with, as compared to todays current product. In the parts that follow I'll be looking back at the golden generation with my highs & lows, as well as do a more in-depth gimmick breakdown. Unfortunately, time is a factor, so I will aim to have that up within the next week. Until then, thanks for reading.
Tuesday 24 April 2012
It's time to say goodbye & move on to pastures new...
I always find it hard to say goodbye to something or someone that I love, especially something that I've held onto for such a while. In this, my first non-movie related blog in...well, a long while...I shall say goodbye to something that has been with me for the past 23 years, though not always in good stead. I've stuck with you through thick and thin - I was with you when you reached your highest highs, and I was there when you felt nothing but despair. I'm not talking about a person, I'm talking about a team, my team, Aston Villa.
Some may think its pretty strange that a youngster from Southend-on-Sea should support a team from a suburb of Birmingham, especially given the distance between us. Why was I a fan? Well, I think my dad dearly wanted me & my brother to follow in his footsteps and be Tottenham fans. Unfortunately, in my brothers case he took him to see Southend United play Liverpool in an FA Cup match. From that moment my brother was hooked - and still is - on the liverpudlians. As for me, well I wasn't into football as a kid. Sure, I liked playing it (don't let my current looks deceive you, I did use to be thin & speedy with a small hint of technical skill) but sitting & watching a game on tv for 90 minutes seemed too much, especially when I knew there were better things on tv. However, it was a Coca-Cola cup game that Villa were playing against Tranmere that got my attention - I was transfixed by these players & really got into the game. I think I broke my dad's heart when I turned round at 10 years old and proclaimed that Villa were my team.
It's not the greatest story in the world I know, but this was how I came to start my love affair with the Brummie team in claret and blue. I always knew it would be tough to watch home games, so every chance to see them on TV was taken (we didn't get any satellite channels until 2004) by going to friends or neighbours that had SKY. I had hoped beyond hope that they would come & play my hometown team in a pre-season friendly or a cup game but alas, it never happened. I made do with Match of the Day, games on SKY & all the season-in-review videos (yes, videos) that I could.
My dad, bless him, decided to treat me once for my birthday & took me to see Tottenham vs Aston Villa at White Hart Lane. I thought we'd be sitting among the Villa fans, my people. Unfortunately my dad didn't want to destroy all those years of following the lilywhites to sit in the away end, so we compromised & sat in the Family Stand. This was Gerry Franci's first game in charge of Spurs, and they had a good squad compared to - what was at that time - an ageing Villa team. Thankfully, age proved for something as Villa shot into a 3 goal lead in just half an hour. It was so hard having to keep quiet (as well as having my Villa scarf hidden underneath my jacket) when I was just exploding with joy (it was like the moment you lose your virginity - I'd never been so happy!). Unfortunately, I did have to get up & cheer when Tottenham brought it back to 3-3 (damn you Klinsmann!!!!!) but I can assure you that my cheers were given halfheartedly. Then it happened. The one moment that I couldn't control. Villa went 4-3 up thanks to Dean Saunders. I got up & cheered. My dad pulled me back down aware that a few hundred people had turned round to stare at me jumping for joy. Thankfully, I was only young & this was the Family Stand so we got away with it, but at that moment I pulled my Villa scarf out & was a proud brummie for the final few minutes of the game. My dad was a good sport about it - I think he was just proud that he took me to a Tottenham game - but I think he decided against taking me to see his team play in the hopes that I was jinxing them.
As a kid, I tried to determine where I would play on a footie pitch. As much as most kids dream of being a star striker, I didn't have the pace for it, nor was I one for supplying pinpoint crosses, so a winger was out for me. I tried defence but I enjoyed the tackling aspect too much, so I was taken out of defence and tried in goal. My response to that? First it was indifference, then it became happiness. Diving to my right to save a shot & the reaction of my teammates gave me such an adrenaline rush. It was due to this that my mum & dad got me my first Villa jersey, a goalkeepers jersey. I loved being between the sticks but I picked up a stomach injury in the middle of school, and this prevented me from diving anymore. Once I recuperated I found that I would suffer discomfort if I dove to the left, so in the end goalkeeping came to an end (though I do still dabble occasionally, though I still have issues diving to my left - forget that if I end up in goal against you though!
In 1994, I watched my beloved team beat Manchester United for the Coca-Cola Cup (now the Carling Cup) 3-1. I was proudly sporting my brand new Aston Villa cup final kit (yeah, I had the whole kit at that time, I was so badass) & I took to playing footy from a new position of central midfield. I was a dirty player, constantly swiping, pulling & pushing opposition players, but I could spot a good pass and bundle through defenders to get a shot on goal (and on some occasions actually score). I was a penalty expert, and could curl a spot-kick into the top corner 9 times out of 10.
As the ageing Villa side I came to love was ending, I was blessed to see the new era of stars come through - Ugo Ehiogu, Mark Draper, Gareth Southgate, Dwight Yorke, etc. I was also looking forward muchly to the arrival of Savo Milosevic (I even had a brand new Villa kit with his name & number on it) just based on his scoring history in (what was then) Yugoslavia. As every Villa fan knows, he wasn't that great & took a while to get used to scoring in England, but I was still a fan, & this was a sign that Villa were going in the right direction & picking up stars from abroad was the first step, especially when mixed in with good homegrown players (Ian Taylor will always go down as a legend in my books, based on his love for the club, as well as scoring a crucial goal in the 96 Coca-Cola Cup final (along with Savo!)).
With the 90s coming to an end - & Villa being a top-six team - surely the only way was up? For a while it was, with Villa sitting pretty at the top of the Premier League. However, we couldn't sustain a winning margin and we ended up tumbling back to the top half of the table, but missing out on Champions League football & the Premier League title. Since then - despite some good moments (especially with Martin O'Neill at the helm until he resigned) - Villa are now languishing just 5 points above the relegation zone with 4 games left (& a big game against Bolton tonight), & with a small squad & a severe lack of experienced players (as well as strikers - you know times are bad when you have to rely on Heskey to keep us safe) it will be tough to survive.
Over this past season, I've shown a lack of support against this team. They hired a manager from our fiercest rivals who was available cheap due to relegation the previous season, & have failed to buy top-quality players. The squad seem to have accepted their fate & having even looked like they wanted to be there in a number of games this season. It's finally got to the point whereby I say, it's time for a break. It's been a tough decision, one that has been ummed-and-ahhed over for the past 8 months, but I feel its the best decision.
During these past 23 years, I've also supported my hometown team Southend United, and have had the pleasure to work there as well (during the 1995/97, 96/97 & 97/98 seasons you would have found me as the Deputy Chief Steward patrolling the ground and the stands), during which time I met some of the most amazing players ever - meeting Chris Powell & having the chance to sit & talk to him at Steve Tilsons testimonial was a highlight, as was chatting with Simon Royce, Mickey Bodley, Andy Ansah & Mike Marsh in the players tunnel before a game. I always look out for their results and, when possible, I'll go to a game. Starting next season I aim to be at as many home games as possible, maybe make this a father-son thing too, who knows. This is where my loyalty now lies.
So, after 23 years Aston Villa will still be in my heart, and I'll still look out for their results, but the anger and heartache has now left me numb to have them as my number one club. It's time to move on amicably, as I know that for me leaving maybe someone else will take my place and take this club to heart.
Before I end this blog, I decided to pool together what to me was my ideal Villa Squad during the time I've supported them (I would include the entire 1982 European Cup winners team, but that was before I started supporting this club). These days, clubs need to register a 25 man squad for the season, so I'm going to do the same. This may not be your choice (if you're a Villa fan) but it's who I would pick:
FIRST 11:
GK - Mark Bosnich
DF - Olof Mellberg
DF - Gareth Southgate
DF - Paul McGrath
DF - Ugo Ehiogu
MF - Tony Daley
MF - Ian Taylor
MF - Andy Townsend
MF - Mark Draper
FC - Dion Dublin
FC - Juan Pablo Angel
SUBS:
GK - Brad Friedel
DF - Steve Staunton
DF - Alan Wright
MF - David Platt
MF - George Boateng
FC - Gabby Agbonlahor
FC - Dalian Atkinson
REMAINDER OF SQUAD:
GK - Nigel Spink
DF - Earl Barrett
DF - Martin Laursen
MF - Lee Hendrie
MF - Kevin Richardson
FC - Dean Saunders
FC - Savo Milosevic
It was a tough choice, as there have been a number of players that have worn the claret and blue that have been true servants to Aston Villa and that I have offered support for, so honourable mentions go to the following:
Marc Albrighton, Marcus Allback, Bosko Balaban, Milan Baros, Gareth Barry, Darren Bent, Patrik Berger, Wilfred Bouma, Gary Charles, Ciaran Clark, Stan Collymore, Gordon Cowans, Carlos Cuellar, Sasa Curcic, Curtis Davies, Mark Delaney, Nathan Delfounseo, Fabian Delph, Stewart Downing, Gareth Farrelly, John Fashanu, Graham Fenton, Steve Froggatt, David Ginola, Shay Given, Mustapha Hadji, Emile Heskey, Thomas Hitzlesperger, Ray Houghton, Stephen Ireland, David James, Julian Joachim, Rohnny Johnsen, Tommy Johnson, Robbie Keane, Zat Knight, Nii Lamptey, Gavin McCann, Paul Merson, James Milner, Charles N'Zogbia, Garry Parker, Stiliyan (Stan) Petrov, Nigel Reo-Coker, Peter Schmeichel, Steve Sidwell, Nolberto Solano, Thomas Sorensen, Steve Stone, Stephen Warnock, Dwight Yorke, Ashley Young.
So the time has come to bid adieu to the biggest team in the Midlands - the pride of Birmingham - the mighty Aston Villa. It's been very emotional, but now I can apply all my dedication to my hometown team for the past 23 years, Southend United FC. It's been a blast & a trip Villa, but it's time for a change now. Thank you for entertaining me as a child, and for giving me the chance to follow you all these years.
Some may think its pretty strange that a youngster from Southend-on-Sea should support a team from a suburb of Birmingham, especially given the distance between us. Why was I a fan? Well, I think my dad dearly wanted me & my brother to follow in his footsteps and be Tottenham fans. Unfortunately, in my brothers case he took him to see Southend United play Liverpool in an FA Cup match. From that moment my brother was hooked - and still is - on the liverpudlians. As for me, well I wasn't into football as a kid. Sure, I liked playing it (don't let my current looks deceive you, I did use to be thin & speedy with a small hint of technical skill) but sitting & watching a game on tv for 90 minutes seemed too much, especially when I knew there were better things on tv. However, it was a Coca-Cola cup game that Villa were playing against Tranmere that got my attention - I was transfixed by these players & really got into the game. I think I broke my dad's heart when I turned round at 10 years old and proclaimed that Villa were my team.
It's not the greatest story in the world I know, but this was how I came to start my love affair with the Brummie team in claret and blue. I always knew it would be tough to watch home games, so every chance to see them on TV was taken (we didn't get any satellite channels until 2004) by going to friends or neighbours that had SKY. I had hoped beyond hope that they would come & play my hometown team in a pre-season friendly or a cup game but alas, it never happened. I made do with Match of the Day, games on SKY & all the season-in-review videos (yes, videos) that I could.
My dad, bless him, decided to treat me once for my birthday & took me to see Tottenham vs Aston Villa at White Hart Lane. I thought we'd be sitting among the Villa fans, my people. Unfortunately my dad didn't want to destroy all those years of following the lilywhites to sit in the away end, so we compromised & sat in the Family Stand. This was Gerry Franci's first game in charge of Spurs, and they had a good squad compared to - what was at that time - an ageing Villa team. Thankfully, age proved for something as Villa shot into a 3 goal lead in just half an hour. It was so hard having to keep quiet (as well as having my Villa scarf hidden underneath my jacket) when I was just exploding with joy (it was like the moment you lose your virginity - I'd never been so happy!). Unfortunately, I did have to get up & cheer when Tottenham brought it back to 3-3 (damn you Klinsmann!!!!!) but I can assure you that my cheers were given halfheartedly. Then it happened. The one moment that I couldn't control. Villa went 4-3 up thanks to Dean Saunders. I got up & cheered. My dad pulled me back down aware that a few hundred people had turned round to stare at me jumping for joy. Thankfully, I was only young & this was the Family Stand so we got away with it, but at that moment I pulled my Villa scarf out & was a proud brummie for the final few minutes of the game. My dad was a good sport about it - I think he was just proud that he took me to a Tottenham game - but I think he decided against taking me to see his team play in the hopes that I was jinxing them.
As a kid, I tried to determine where I would play on a footie pitch. As much as most kids dream of being a star striker, I didn't have the pace for it, nor was I one for supplying pinpoint crosses, so a winger was out for me. I tried defence but I enjoyed the tackling aspect too much, so I was taken out of defence and tried in goal. My response to that? First it was indifference, then it became happiness. Diving to my right to save a shot & the reaction of my teammates gave me such an adrenaline rush. It was due to this that my mum & dad got me my first Villa jersey, a goalkeepers jersey. I loved being between the sticks but I picked up a stomach injury in the middle of school, and this prevented me from diving anymore. Once I recuperated I found that I would suffer discomfort if I dove to the left, so in the end goalkeeping came to an end (though I do still dabble occasionally, though I still have issues diving to my left - forget that if I end up in goal against you though!
In 1994, I watched my beloved team beat Manchester United for the Coca-Cola Cup (now the Carling Cup) 3-1. I was proudly sporting my brand new Aston Villa cup final kit (yeah, I had the whole kit at that time, I was so badass) & I took to playing footy from a new position of central midfield. I was a dirty player, constantly swiping, pulling & pushing opposition players, but I could spot a good pass and bundle through defenders to get a shot on goal (and on some occasions actually score). I was a penalty expert, and could curl a spot-kick into the top corner 9 times out of 10.
As the ageing Villa side I came to love was ending, I was blessed to see the new era of stars come through - Ugo Ehiogu, Mark Draper, Gareth Southgate, Dwight Yorke, etc. I was also looking forward muchly to the arrival of Savo Milosevic (I even had a brand new Villa kit with his name & number on it) just based on his scoring history in (what was then) Yugoslavia. As every Villa fan knows, he wasn't that great & took a while to get used to scoring in England, but I was still a fan, & this was a sign that Villa were going in the right direction & picking up stars from abroad was the first step, especially when mixed in with good homegrown players (Ian Taylor will always go down as a legend in my books, based on his love for the club, as well as scoring a crucial goal in the 96 Coca-Cola Cup final (along with Savo!)).
With the 90s coming to an end - & Villa being a top-six team - surely the only way was up? For a while it was, with Villa sitting pretty at the top of the Premier League. However, we couldn't sustain a winning margin and we ended up tumbling back to the top half of the table, but missing out on Champions League football & the Premier League title. Since then - despite some good moments (especially with Martin O'Neill at the helm until he resigned) - Villa are now languishing just 5 points above the relegation zone with 4 games left (& a big game against Bolton tonight), & with a small squad & a severe lack of experienced players (as well as strikers - you know times are bad when you have to rely on Heskey to keep us safe) it will be tough to survive.
Over this past season, I've shown a lack of support against this team. They hired a manager from our fiercest rivals who was available cheap due to relegation the previous season, & have failed to buy top-quality players. The squad seem to have accepted their fate & having even looked like they wanted to be there in a number of games this season. It's finally got to the point whereby I say, it's time for a break. It's been a tough decision, one that has been ummed-and-ahhed over for the past 8 months, but I feel its the best decision.
During these past 23 years, I've also supported my hometown team Southend United, and have had the pleasure to work there as well (during the 1995/97, 96/97 & 97/98 seasons you would have found me as the Deputy Chief Steward patrolling the ground and the stands), during which time I met some of the most amazing players ever - meeting Chris Powell & having the chance to sit & talk to him at Steve Tilsons testimonial was a highlight, as was chatting with Simon Royce, Mickey Bodley, Andy Ansah & Mike Marsh in the players tunnel before a game. I always look out for their results and, when possible, I'll go to a game. Starting next season I aim to be at as many home games as possible, maybe make this a father-son thing too, who knows. This is where my loyalty now lies.
So, after 23 years Aston Villa will still be in my heart, and I'll still look out for their results, but the anger and heartache has now left me numb to have them as my number one club. It's time to move on amicably, as I know that for me leaving maybe someone else will take my place and take this club to heart.
Before I end this blog, I decided to pool together what to me was my ideal Villa Squad during the time I've supported them (I would include the entire 1982 European Cup winners team, but that was before I started supporting this club). These days, clubs need to register a 25 man squad for the season, so I'm going to do the same. This may not be your choice (if you're a Villa fan) but it's who I would pick:
FIRST 11:
GK - Mark Bosnich
DF - Olof Mellberg
DF - Gareth Southgate
DF - Paul McGrath
DF - Ugo Ehiogu
MF - Tony Daley
MF - Ian Taylor
MF - Andy Townsend
MF - Mark Draper
FC - Dion Dublin
FC - Juan Pablo Angel
SUBS:
GK - Brad Friedel
DF - Steve Staunton
DF - Alan Wright
MF - David Platt
MF - George Boateng
FC - Gabby Agbonlahor
FC - Dalian Atkinson
REMAINDER OF SQUAD:
GK - Nigel Spink
DF - Earl Barrett
DF - Martin Laursen
MF - Lee Hendrie
MF - Kevin Richardson
FC - Dean Saunders
FC - Savo Milosevic
It was a tough choice, as there have been a number of players that have worn the claret and blue that have been true servants to Aston Villa and that I have offered support for, so honourable mentions go to the following:
Marc Albrighton, Marcus Allback, Bosko Balaban, Milan Baros, Gareth Barry, Darren Bent, Patrik Berger, Wilfred Bouma, Gary Charles, Ciaran Clark, Stan Collymore, Gordon Cowans, Carlos Cuellar, Sasa Curcic, Curtis Davies, Mark Delaney, Nathan Delfounseo, Fabian Delph, Stewart Downing, Gareth Farrelly, John Fashanu, Graham Fenton, Steve Froggatt, David Ginola, Shay Given, Mustapha Hadji, Emile Heskey, Thomas Hitzlesperger, Ray Houghton, Stephen Ireland, David James, Julian Joachim, Rohnny Johnsen, Tommy Johnson, Robbie Keane, Zat Knight, Nii Lamptey, Gavin McCann, Paul Merson, James Milner, Charles N'Zogbia, Garry Parker, Stiliyan (Stan) Petrov, Nigel Reo-Coker, Peter Schmeichel, Steve Sidwell, Nolberto Solano, Thomas Sorensen, Steve Stone, Stephen Warnock, Dwight Yorke, Ashley Young.
So the time has come to bid adieu to the biggest team in the Midlands - the pride of Birmingham - the mighty Aston Villa. It's been very emotional, but now I can apply all my dedication to my hometown team for the past 23 years, Southend United FC. It's been a blast & a trip Villa, but it's time for a change now. Thank you for entertaining me as a child, and for giving me the chance to follow you all these years.
Monday 23 April 2012
The 1000 film 2012 challenge - a belated blog
For those that were wondering where the flip my blog went after my last post, I feel I must let you all know that I decided to end it early. The stress of watching around 3 films a day - as well as a number of films at the weekend - meant a truck-load of stress for me, as well as being a recluse in my own home. Seriously, my housemates must have thought I was either dead or never came home, as I hardly saw them!
So, I admitted defeat. I still watch films, though the number has dropped from 19 a week to around 2 or 3. Now I've moved onto tv shows & hanging out with my housemates. Not being stressed is fun.
Also, there are other reasons for the end of this challenge, these primarily being the start of a new creative phase for me, as I'll be going back into my writing. I have a few idea's going on in my head so hopefully I'll put these down on my blog for you to get an idea.
Until then, happy blogging people!
So, I admitted defeat. I still watch films, though the number has dropped from 19 a week to around 2 or 3. Now I've moved onto tv shows & hanging out with my housemates. Not being stressed is fun.
Also, there are other reasons for the end of this challenge, these primarily being the start of a new creative phase for me, as I'll be going back into my writing. I have a few idea's going on in my head so hopefully I'll put these down on my blog for you to get an idea.
Until then, happy blogging people!
Monday 6 February 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - 5th Feb to 11th Feb
A new week & a new chance to get my average. What did I watch this week? Well, I watched the following:
5th February 2012 - WEIRD SCIENCE
5th February 2012 - HALL PASS
5th February 2012 - SPIES LIKE US
5th February 2012 - 30 MINUTES OR LESS
5th February 2012 - THE CHANGE UP
5th February 2012 - DEUCE BIGALOW: EUROPEAN GIGOLO
5th February 2012 - THREE KINGS
6th February 2012 - TEAM AMERICA
6th February 2012 - FOUR LIONS
7th February 2012 - 15 MINUTES
7th February 2012 - PRIEST
8th February 2012 - 8MM
9th February 2012 - 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN
9th February 2012 - 21
10th February 2012 - 48 HOURS
11th February 2012 - 28 WEEKS LATER
11th February 2012 - STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE (3D)
11th February 2012 - THE MUPPETS
So, thats 18 films watched this week, just one off my average. Will I make it next week? Keep an eye on the blog!
5th February 2012 - WEIRD SCIENCE
5th February 2012 - HALL PASS
5th February 2012 - SPIES LIKE US
5th February 2012 - 30 MINUTES OR LESS
5th February 2012 - THE CHANGE UP
5th February 2012 - DEUCE BIGALOW: EUROPEAN GIGOLO
5th February 2012 - THREE KINGS
6th February 2012 - TEAM AMERICA
6th February 2012 - FOUR LIONS
7th February 2012 - 15 MINUTES
7th February 2012 - PRIEST
8th February 2012 - 8MM
9th February 2012 - 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN
9th February 2012 - 21
10th February 2012 - 48 HOURS
11th February 2012 - 28 WEEKS LATER
11th February 2012 - STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE (3D)
11th February 2012 - THE MUPPETS
So, thats 18 films watched this week, just one off my average. Will I make it next week? Keep an eye on the blog!
Monday 30 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - 29th Jan to 4th Feb
The start of a new week & another chance to average 19 films before the next week begins. What did I watch this week? Well, I watched the following:
29th January 2012 - PREDATORS
29th January 2012 - 11-11-11
29th January 2012 - A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR CHRISTMAS
29th January 2012 - LIMITLESS
29th January 2012 - THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR
30th January 2012 - THE GREEN HORNET
30th January 2012 - PREDATOR 2
30th January 2012 - FUN WITH DICK & JANE
30th January 2012 - HALLOWEEN (REMAKE)
31st January 2012 - YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN
31st January 2012 - SCARY MOVIE 3
31st January 2012 - UNSTOPPABLE
31st January 2012 - UNIVERSAL SOLDIER
1st February 2012 - STARSHIP TROOPERS
1st February 2012 - DRILLBIT TAYLOR
1st February 2012 - THE ITALIAN JOB (REMAKE)
2nd February 2012 - NATIONAL TREASURE 2: BOOK OF SECRETS
2nd February 2012 - LITTLE MAN
3rd February 2012 - BIG DADDY
4th February 2012 - BIG STAN
4th February 2012 - OCEANS TWELVE
4th February 2012 - FINDING NEMO
4th February 2012 - THE LONGEST YARD (REMAKE)
So thats 23 films watched this week. Will I do make my average next week? Keep an eye on the blog...
29th January 2012 - PREDATORS
29th January 2012 - 11-11-11
29th January 2012 - A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR CHRISTMAS
29th January 2012 - LIMITLESS
29th January 2012 - THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR
30th January 2012 - THE GREEN HORNET
30th January 2012 - PREDATOR 2
30th January 2012 - FUN WITH DICK & JANE
30th January 2012 - HALLOWEEN (REMAKE)
31st January 2012 - YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN
31st January 2012 - SCARY MOVIE 3
31st January 2012 - UNSTOPPABLE
31st January 2012 - UNIVERSAL SOLDIER
1st February 2012 - STARSHIP TROOPERS
1st February 2012 - DRILLBIT TAYLOR
1st February 2012 - THE ITALIAN JOB (REMAKE)
2nd February 2012 - NATIONAL TREASURE 2: BOOK OF SECRETS
2nd February 2012 - LITTLE MAN
3rd February 2012 - BIG DADDY
4th February 2012 - BIG STAN
4th February 2012 - OCEANS TWELVE
4th February 2012 - FINDING NEMO
4th February 2012 - THE LONGEST YARD (REMAKE)
So thats 23 films watched this week. Will I do make my average next week? Keep an eye on the blog...
Sunday 29 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 28
What did I accomplish on the last day of week 4? Well, I watched the following:
28th January 2012 - HOT FUZZ
28th January 2012 - PREDATOR
28th January 2012 - SCOOBY DOO THE MOVIE
So, at the end of week 4 I tallied 18 films, just 1 away from my average. Thankfully the over-watching of the previous weeks has helped me out. Week 5 begins tomorrow...
28th January 2012 - HOT FUZZ
28th January 2012 - PREDATOR
28th January 2012 - SCOOBY DOO THE MOVIE
So, at the end of week 4 I tallied 18 films, just 1 away from my average. Thankfully the over-watching of the previous weeks has helped me out. Week 5 begins tomorrow...
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 27
What did I accomplish on Day 27 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
27th January 2012 - WAYNE'S WORLD
So thats a total of 15 films watched, with just 1 more day left this week. With 4 films to watch to reach my tally - & with getting things ready for the house-warming party - it will be a hard slog...
27th January 2012 - WAYNE'S WORLD
So thats a total of 15 films watched, with just 1 more day left this week. With 4 films to watch to reach my tally - & with getting things ready for the house-warming party - it will be a hard slog...
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 26
What did I accomplish today? Well I watched the following:
26th January 2012 - FOUR BROTHERS
26th January 2012 - BATMAN
So my tally for the week sits at 14 films watched. Will I fit in another 5 films in the next 2 days? It will be tough...
26th January 2012 - FOUR BROTHERS
26th January 2012 - BATMAN
So my tally for the week sits at 14 films watched. Will I fit in another 5 films in the next 2 days? It will be tough...
Thursday 26 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 25
No time for mini-reviews this week (or, unfortunately, for the next few weeks), but here's what I watched yesterday:
25th January 2012 - CANDYMAN
25th January 2012 - THE CONDEMNED
25th January 2012 - DEUCE BIGALOW: MALE GIGOLO
25th January 2012 - DODGEBALL
So the tally so far for the week is 12 films watched. Will I make the quote to get my average of 19? Keep an eye on the blog!
25th January 2012 - CANDYMAN
25th January 2012 - THE CONDEMNED
25th January 2012 - DEUCE BIGALOW: MALE GIGOLO
25th January 2012 - DODGEBALL
So the tally so far for the week is 12 films watched. Will I make the quote to get my average of 19? Keep an eye on the blog!
Wednesday 25 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 24
Again, due to time constraints this week, I won't have the chance to do those mini-reviews that people either love or hate. Hopefully I will come round & do these when I have time. Anyways, what did I accomplish during Day 24 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
24th January 2012 - WEDDING CRASHERS
24th January 2012 - HOLLOW MAN
24th January 2012 - THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE
So far the tally for the week is 8 films watched. Will I get through 11 more in the remaining 4 days? Keep an eye on the blog!
24th January 2012 - WEDDING CRASHERS
24th January 2012 - HOLLOW MAN
24th January 2012 - THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE
So far the tally for the week is 8 films watched. Will I get through 11 more in the remaining 4 days? Keep an eye on the blog!
Tuesday 24 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 23
Unfortunately, due to time constraints this week (namely being too fricking busy at work) I won't get the chance to update my blog with the mini-reviews that you have all come to loathe or love so much, hopefully I will get the chance to re-do this when I get the time, but for today I can only update the blog with the titles I watched during Day 23:
23rd January 2012 - SHOOT EM UP
23rd January 2012 - YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN
23rd January 2012 - UNKNOWN
So far the tally for the week is 5 films watched, with 14 to go in the next 5 days. Will I do it? Maybe not this week but I'm always hopeful...
23rd January 2012 - SHOOT EM UP
23rd January 2012 - YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN
23rd January 2012 - UNKNOWN
So far the tally for the week is 5 films watched, with 14 to go in the next 5 days. Will I do it? Maybe not this week but I'm always hopeful...
Monday 23 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 22
A new week begins, and with it comes the new days blog. Can't believe the 1st month of 2012 is almost over. So what did I watch on Day 22? Well I watched the following:
22nd January 2012 - PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3
Having seen the 1st Paranormal Activity streamed over the net in March 2009 (this was the original version, filmed in 2007. The one released in cinema was changed & made scarier for a 2009 release). I found the original creepy & unnerving, but that may have been due to living in a haunted house at the time. I went to see it at the cinema & was even more unnerved. Then I watched the sequel, which was a bit meh.
So here we have the second sequel / 1st prequel. My take on it? Its actually surpisingly good. Its got a few things that have never been seen before in the series (the disappearing sheet is a good effect) and ties in with things mentioned in the previous films. My only grumble with this is why the 2 girls - who went through a hell of a lot in this film to fuck their minds up for life - don't remember or even mention this anymore. That went unanswered.
From what I hear, Paranormal Activity 4 is due to be released this October. Will this be another Franchise like the Saw films? I hope not. They should use this to just end the series & let us know what happened to Hunter & Katie. Maybe they got jobs at Disney? Who knows. In fact, who really cares?
22nd January 2012 - CANNONBALL RUN
I preferred the sequel over the original thanks to the orangutan; however I thought I would get back to this (and before you ask, yes I do have Cannonball Run 3 to watch at some point...I may leave that til much later tho...).
Here begins the explout of Smokey & the Bandit...wait, Burt Reynolds & Dom DeLuise. It tells the tale of the cannonball run, an illegal cross-country race across america. Also starring Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr as drunk priests riding a ferrari, Farrah Fawcett as Tits McGhee (you cant miss those nipples, they are on show quite a lot) along with Jackie Chan & others.
Its actually an enjoyable little film that really tries not to be anything else (other than Smokey & the Bandit). Plus, I was getting ready for be & just wanted to see something I could switch off to.
So thats Day 1 over and 2 films viewed, with 17 left to watch before the end of the week to meet my average. This week is going to be tough as I am out Friday night and busy Saturday & Sunday nights, so I'm happy to be over my average already. As I've watched 68 films already, I only really need to watch another 8 films to keep within my average this week, as 4 x 19 = 76...
22nd January 2012 - PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3
Having seen the 1st Paranormal Activity streamed over the net in March 2009 (this was the original version, filmed in 2007. The one released in cinema was changed & made scarier for a 2009 release). I found the original creepy & unnerving, but that may have been due to living in a haunted house at the time. I went to see it at the cinema & was even more unnerved. Then I watched the sequel, which was a bit meh.
So here we have the second sequel / 1st prequel. My take on it? Its actually surpisingly good. Its got a few things that have never been seen before in the series (the disappearing sheet is a good effect) and ties in with things mentioned in the previous films. My only grumble with this is why the 2 girls - who went through a hell of a lot in this film to fuck their minds up for life - don't remember or even mention this anymore. That went unanswered.
From what I hear, Paranormal Activity 4 is due to be released this October. Will this be another Franchise like the Saw films? I hope not. They should use this to just end the series & let us know what happened to Hunter & Katie. Maybe they got jobs at Disney? Who knows. In fact, who really cares?
22nd January 2012 - CANNONBALL RUN
I preferred the sequel over the original thanks to the orangutan; however I thought I would get back to this (and before you ask, yes I do have Cannonball Run 3 to watch at some point...I may leave that til much later tho...).
Here begins the explout of Smokey & the Bandit...wait, Burt Reynolds & Dom DeLuise. It tells the tale of the cannonball run, an illegal cross-country race across america. Also starring Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr as drunk priests riding a ferrari, Farrah Fawcett as Tits McGhee (you cant miss those nipples, they are on show quite a lot) along with Jackie Chan & others.
Its actually an enjoyable little film that really tries not to be anything else (other than Smokey & the Bandit). Plus, I was getting ready for be & just wanted to see something I could switch off to.
So thats Day 1 over and 2 films viewed, with 17 left to watch before the end of the week to meet my average. This week is going to be tough as I am out Friday night and busy Saturday & Sunday nights, so I'm happy to be over my average already. As I've watched 68 films already, I only really need to watch another 8 films to keep within my average this week, as 4 x 19 = 76...
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Week 3
So, week 3 is over. I needed to average around 19 films a week (more if preferable). Did I make it? Hell Yeah I Did! In fact I smashed it with 25 films this week. Granted, it does make me look like I have nothing better to do - and whilst you may be right, I'm doing it for my own sanity...which makes no sense...
Anyways, here's a list of what I watched in Week 3:
50/50
The A-Team
Anchorman
Cannonball Run II
Child's Play
The Chronicles of Riddick
Clash of the Titans
Devil
Dog Soldiers
Eight Legged Freaks
Eurotrip
Final Destination 2
I'm Gonna Git You Sucka
The Inbetweeners Movie
Jackass 3.5
The Losers
Man On Fire
Real Steel
Resident Evil
Scream 2
Secret Window
Tank Girl
Up
War Horse
X-Men First Class
So, at the end of Week 3 my total tally of films stands at 66. So just 934 left to go...
Anyways, here's a list of what I watched in Week 3:
50/50
The A-Team
Anchorman
Cannonball Run II
Child's Play
The Chronicles of Riddick
Clash of the Titans
Devil
Dog Soldiers
Eight Legged Freaks
Eurotrip
Final Destination 2
I'm Gonna Git You Sucka
The Inbetweeners Movie
Jackass 3.5
The Losers
Man On Fire
Real Steel
Resident Evil
Scream 2
Secret Window
Tank Girl
Up
War Horse
X-Men First Class
So, at the end of Week 3 my total tally of films stands at 66. So just 934 left to go...
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 21
What did I accomplish during Day 21 (and the end of the week) of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
21st January 2012 - 50/50
This is a fantastic film. Granted, it may have been sold as a Cancer Comedy, but its not that at all. Its actually based on the life of Will Reiser, a screenwriter who learnt he had cancer despite living a healthy life. This was his story, and - as it was in real life - Seth Rogen is the friend who helps him get through it.
I do know people who have been affected by cancer, and my family is going through something now that hopefully won't ever get to the level of this film, so I was personally affected by this. Its actually a heart-warming tale of a man with cancer asking for his friends help, and for the love of a good woman.
Towards the end of this film there is a particular scene (when he is due to have the anesthetic put in before his operation to remove the tumour) that had me literally bawling my eyes out. Those that know me know why this affected me so much, and I hope that - just like the film itself - there is a happy ending.
No wonder this film is rumoured to be nominated for Oscar's, it is that good & I urge you...naye, I implore you, to watch this when you get the chance.
21st January 2012 - WAR HORSE
After watching 50/50, I was more than ready to get emotional about this film, which I heard rave reviews about, although all of them involved people crying at the film.
This is the tale of Albert, a young farmer's son who trains a colt up (called Joey) to be able to be the best horse in the world, and come to him when he whistles (although its actually an owl sound he makes...he is from Devon though, so he can be excused for being a bit backward), only for the horse to be sold to the Army at the start of World War 1. The horse then gets to fight for the English & the Germans during the 4 years of conflict, before it finally finds its way back to an injured Albert, and they all live happily ever after,
The big question is...did I cry? The answer is...nope. Sure, its another heart warming tale, this time of a man & his horse (which is a traitor seeing as it helped the germans murder innocent civilians). The only time I got a smidgin choked up was when the horse was running through No Mans Land getting caught in barbed wire, at which point the english & german armies made peace to help the horse out.
I know that the original novel was set from the horse's perspective, and this film is like that, however it comes across as too schmaltzy - very cheesy for a Hollywood film, especially one which shows (but doesnt show) the execution of young children. Its worth a punt though, and by far the star of this film is Sarah Jessica Parker in the mane role (see what I did there?), never seen her act so good!
21st January 2012 - THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK
It had been a long time since I saw Pitch Black (though I did re-purchase it recently, ready to watch at some point this year), but I do remember the Riddick character. I did actually own this film on DVD for a number of years, but never got round to watching it.
Its a kind of convoluted story that had me scratching my head in places, but that eventually turned into Necromancers vs Riddick. Its like the matrix on steroids this film. I should probably watch this again when I wasn't tired & could actually get into it. Until then, all I can say is that this was a very good-looking film with some good action parts in it too. So thats not a bad thing in my book!
21st January 2012 - EUROTRIP
Scotty doesn't know. He really doesn't. But he finds out right at the start of this film. Despite having the word Trip in it, this isn't a sequel to Road Trip, tho it does contain a lot of smut & boobs, plus an incestuous brother & sister. It also has a damn catchy tune running through it.
So Scotty has a girlfriend, but she's humping everyone else. He also has a male german penpal who wants to meet him. Cue him calling him a weird fuck, only to find out that it was a girl called Mieke, not - as he thought - a guy called Mike. This then gives Scotty a reason to travel across Europe to try and get her back. Along the way he comes up against Vinnie Jones (as a Man Utd fan...shame on you Vinnie!), a french robot, a molesting italian, sexual torture, a young Adolf Hitler, and he becomes pope.
Sure, it sounds stupid & it is, but switch off & enjoy it. Plus it has boobs in it. Oh, and for the ladies that read this blog, there is also a lot of sausage on display too. Too much for my liking but if you like the twig & giggleberries then this may be right up your street!
So week 3 comes to an end with a total of 25 films watched in a week. Keep a view on the blog to see what I accomplish in week 4!
21st January 2012 - 50/50
This is a fantastic film. Granted, it may have been sold as a Cancer Comedy, but its not that at all. Its actually based on the life of Will Reiser, a screenwriter who learnt he had cancer despite living a healthy life. This was his story, and - as it was in real life - Seth Rogen is the friend who helps him get through it.
I do know people who have been affected by cancer, and my family is going through something now that hopefully won't ever get to the level of this film, so I was personally affected by this. Its actually a heart-warming tale of a man with cancer asking for his friends help, and for the love of a good woman.
Towards the end of this film there is a particular scene (when he is due to have the anesthetic put in before his operation to remove the tumour) that had me literally bawling my eyes out. Those that know me know why this affected me so much, and I hope that - just like the film itself - there is a happy ending.
No wonder this film is rumoured to be nominated for Oscar's, it is that good & I urge you...naye, I implore you, to watch this when you get the chance.
21st January 2012 - WAR HORSE
After watching 50/50, I was more than ready to get emotional about this film, which I heard rave reviews about, although all of them involved people crying at the film.
This is the tale of Albert, a young farmer's son who trains a colt up (called Joey) to be able to be the best horse in the world, and come to him when he whistles (although its actually an owl sound he makes...he is from Devon though, so he can be excused for being a bit backward), only for the horse to be sold to the Army at the start of World War 1. The horse then gets to fight for the English & the Germans during the 4 years of conflict, before it finally finds its way back to an injured Albert, and they all live happily ever after,
The big question is...did I cry? The answer is...nope. Sure, its another heart warming tale, this time of a man & his horse (which is a traitor seeing as it helped the germans murder innocent civilians). The only time I got a smidgin choked up was when the horse was running through No Mans Land getting caught in barbed wire, at which point the english & german armies made peace to help the horse out.
I know that the original novel was set from the horse's perspective, and this film is like that, however it comes across as too schmaltzy - very cheesy for a Hollywood film, especially one which shows (but doesnt show) the execution of young children. Its worth a punt though, and by far the star of this film is Sarah Jessica Parker in the mane role (see what I did there?), never seen her act so good!
21st January 2012 - THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK
It had been a long time since I saw Pitch Black (though I did re-purchase it recently, ready to watch at some point this year), but I do remember the Riddick character. I did actually own this film on DVD for a number of years, but never got round to watching it.
Its a kind of convoluted story that had me scratching my head in places, but that eventually turned into Necromancers vs Riddick. Its like the matrix on steroids this film. I should probably watch this again when I wasn't tired & could actually get into it. Until then, all I can say is that this was a very good-looking film with some good action parts in it too. So thats not a bad thing in my book!
21st January 2012 - EUROTRIP
Scotty doesn't know. He really doesn't. But he finds out right at the start of this film. Despite having the word Trip in it, this isn't a sequel to Road Trip, tho it does contain a lot of smut & boobs, plus an incestuous brother & sister. It also has a damn catchy tune running through it.
So Scotty has a girlfriend, but she's humping everyone else. He also has a male german penpal who wants to meet him. Cue him calling him a weird fuck, only to find out that it was a girl called Mieke, not - as he thought - a guy called Mike. This then gives Scotty a reason to travel across Europe to try and get her back. Along the way he comes up against Vinnie Jones (as a Man Utd fan...shame on you Vinnie!), a french robot, a molesting italian, sexual torture, a young Adolf Hitler, and he becomes pope.
Sure, it sounds stupid & it is, but switch off & enjoy it. Plus it has boobs in it. Oh, and for the ladies that read this blog, there is also a lot of sausage on display too. Too much for my liking but if you like the twig & giggleberries then this may be right up your street!
So week 3 comes to an end with a total of 25 films watched in a week. Keep a view on the blog to see what I accomplish in week 4!
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 20
So, it's Day 20 and I had already reached my average of 19 films in a week. With my current weekly record set at 21, did I beat it? At the end of Day 20 I could merely match it, as I could only watch the following:
20th January 2012 - RESIDENT EVIL
I'm gonna admit this now, I only ever played the 1st Resident Evil game for 5 minutes. I played the 2nd game for about 20 minutes. Survival horror games are not my thing. Yet a good zombie film is my thing. This, unfortunately, isn't one of those films.
I do remember reading the original George A Romero script after this came out & couldn't understand why they didn't go with it. This film, which involved a viral outbreak at an underground facility, started off by massacring nearly the entire cast, leaving a couple of people to go on & try & get out. The zombies looked crap, the CGI zombies looked entirely CGI & non-believable, and - aside from seeing Mila Jovovich naked at the end (use the pause button for the bits where she's falling off the table at the end if you don't believe me) there really is nothing much in this film to keep me entertained.
I am thankful that they didnt go along the same route as Danny Boyle and make the zombies superfast, as those from 28 Days/Weeks Later were simply rage infected people. It was in fact Zak Penn that made the zombies speedy in his remake of Dawn of the Dead, damn him!
I will have to get the remainder of the Resident Evil series, especially now that a 5th film is being released this year. I know I enjoyed the 2nd film in the series so I will have to blog about that. I can't say I'm looking forward to watching this series but hopefully by the time I get to the 3rd & 4th films I haven't lost the will to live...wish me luck!
20th January 2012 - SCREAM 2
I loved the Scream films but never got round to watching the original at the cinema, so I was pretty excited at watching Scream 2 on the big screen. So excited I brought tickets about a week beforehand, something that is pretty much disregarded these days. Hell, back in 1993 I queued up for 2 hours just to get to watch Jurassic Park the day it was released. Since then I make sure I get my tickets early, and its not just cinema tickets I'm talking about!
For me, this is the best Scream out of the 4 that have been released. It has the same mix of horror & comedy that we've come to expect, yet it also had 2 of the most predictable killers ever. Come on, please tell me that you didn't think KILLER when Roseanne's sister appeared on screen, especially as she was never around long enough to see Sidney Prescott. And how did I predict the other killer (Mickey)? Well, during the press conference he's videoing it on a handheld camera. As The Cox-Arquettes searched for the killer they found the tape with it on. Plus, he was hardly ever in that film. It isn't rocket science.
Randy dying was a shocker, but rumour has it that he didnt actually die, and was merely in a coma ready to do battle in Scream 5. The baddie in that film will be the reconstituted corpse of Chris Benoit. Yeah, its all BOLLOCKS.
So, 6 days have passed this week and I have matched my record of 21 films in a week. With one day left to go this week, will I beat this weekly record? Keep an eye on the blog!
20th January 2012 - RESIDENT EVIL
I'm gonna admit this now, I only ever played the 1st Resident Evil game for 5 minutes. I played the 2nd game for about 20 minutes. Survival horror games are not my thing. Yet a good zombie film is my thing. This, unfortunately, isn't one of those films.
I do remember reading the original George A Romero script after this came out & couldn't understand why they didn't go with it. This film, which involved a viral outbreak at an underground facility, started off by massacring nearly the entire cast, leaving a couple of people to go on & try & get out. The zombies looked crap, the CGI zombies looked entirely CGI & non-believable, and - aside from seeing Mila Jovovich naked at the end (use the pause button for the bits where she's falling off the table at the end if you don't believe me) there really is nothing much in this film to keep me entertained.
I am thankful that they didnt go along the same route as Danny Boyle and make the zombies superfast, as those from 28 Days/Weeks Later were simply rage infected people. It was in fact Zak Penn that made the zombies speedy in his remake of Dawn of the Dead, damn him!
I will have to get the remainder of the Resident Evil series, especially now that a 5th film is being released this year. I know I enjoyed the 2nd film in the series so I will have to blog about that. I can't say I'm looking forward to watching this series but hopefully by the time I get to the 3rd & 4th films I haven't lost the will to live...wish me luck!
20th January 2012 - SCREAM 2
I loved the Scream films but never got round to watching the original at the cinema, so I was pretty excited at watching Scream 2 on the big screen. So excited I brought tickets about a week beforehand, something that is pretty much disregarded these days. Hell, back in 1993 I queued up for 2 hours just to get to watch Jurassic Park the day it was released. Since then I make sure I get my tickets early, and its not just cinema tickets I'm talking about!
For me, this is the best Scream out of the 4 that have been released. It has the same mix of horror & comedy that we've come to expect, yet it also had 2 of the most predictable killers ever. Come on, please tell me that you didn't think KILLER when Roseanne's sister appeared on screen, especially as she was never around long enough to see Sidney Prescott. And how did I predict the other killer (Mickey)? Well, during the press conference he's videoing it on a handheld camera. As The Cox-Arquettes searched for the killer they found the tape with it on. Plus, he was hardly ever in that film. It isn't rocket science.
Randy dying was a shocker, but rumour has it that he didnt actually die, and was merely in a coma ready to do battle in Scream 5. The baddie in that film will be the reconstituted corpse of Chris Benoit. Yeah, its all BOLLOCKS.
So, 6 days have passed this week and I have matched my record of 21 films in a week. With one day left to go this week, will I beat this weekly record? Keep an eye on the blog!
Friday 20 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 19
What did I accomplish during Day 19 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
19th January 2012 - THE INBETWEENERS MOVIE
I know that the Inbetweeners isn't everyone's cup of tea, yet I really enjoyed it and got into it by complete accident having seen the 1st series for sale in Golden Disc for just £4. At school I was an inbetweener, but in a better sense in that I was well in with the cool kids, the rebels, the brainy ones & of course, the nerdstroms. If I had to pick who I was more like out of the 4, it would definitely be Will. One, because I have glasses, and two, beause I have a smart mouth that sometimes gets me into trouble...
I've had the pleasure (wait, scratch that, it wasnt a pleasure) to meet James Buckley (Jay) during a DJ event in 2010. He is an utter cunt. Plus, aside from the whole "friend" thing, he's actually an annoying wanker in the show. Thankfully, this film makes him look like a right prick with the focus on Will and Simon for the most of it.
The writing was superb, the one-liners were great and yes, from time-to-time I will occasionally throw on We No Speak Americano and try to bust out some of the greatest dance moves ever seen on celluloid! Whats not to like in this film? It had funny one-liners, cringeworthy moments, and boobs! Plus, as it holds the record as the UK's number one film release (for a british film that is), there is talk of a sequel. I reckon that could top the original, and I would again pay to see it!
19th January 2012 - THE LOSERS
I got asked to watch this film in 2010 by a friend of mine who was raving about it. Granted, she had a crush on Jeffery Dean Morgan (aka Robert Downey Jr - that will only be appreciated by about 2 people, but they read this & will give me a slight round of applause for it, I hope!) but it was with trepidation that I watched it back then. You know what, it was damn good. So good that this was the first ever Blu-Ray I purchased.
Now, over a year later, I sat down to watch this tale about a group of ragtag special ops soldiers who are believed dead but come back to get revenge on the guy who set them up. It is still damn good. Chris Evans (not the ginger DJ) was definitely the comedy sidekick, & seeing him utilise the might of Don't Stop Believing whilst pretending to use mind bullets was great.
The baddy - Max - was played by Jason Patric (aka Michael from Lost Boys). It looks likes he was okay with being outside these days, so the vampiric gene must have worn off, or he took it out on Corey Haim last year (too soon? Surely its never too soon to make jokes about the Two Coreys? Tho Feldman is getting off lightly...he looks like a ferret trying to be Michael Jackson. There, I said it!). Patric was so over the top in his role - why cant all baddies be like this?
19th January 2012 - CHILD'S PLAY
Hi I'm Chucky. Wanna Playyyy? I hadn't seen this for years, and watching it now has made me realise how Chucky was so much better as a wise-cracking little mother! Bride of Chucky was full on comedy horror, whilst the first Childs Play was all about the mystery. In fact, for the 1st 40-45 minutes you don't know its the doll, as Andy & Chucky both have the same clothes and are the same size. Granted, we know its Chucky doing it, but the filmmakers did well here.
I like puppets, especially foul mouthed murdering ones. This film had that but minus the wise cracks. In fact he was a really little shit in this one. Who would have thunk that Chucky will still be going (rumour has it that a remake is being made to Childs Play to make it more like Bride of Chucky) after this, as I dont think they were expecting a sequel.
It is a shame that the death of Jamie Bulger in 1993 resulted in a major backlash against Chucky & his films, & that this severely damaged the filmmakers reputation, as well as the reputation of the franchise. With a possible new Chucky film/remake as well as a Chucky game rumoured this year, it could be the year that Charles Lee Ray goes global again!
So my tally for the week is 19 films watched. I've met my average with 2 days left to go, so I reckon I could beat my 21 films in a week record...will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
19th January 2012 - THE INBETWEENERS MOVIE
I know that the Inbetweeners isn't everyone's cup of tea, yet I really enjoyed it and got into it by complete accident having seen the 1st series for sale in Golden Disc for just £4. At school I was an inbetweener, but in a better sense in that I was well in with the cool kids, the rebels, the brainy ones & of course, the nerdstroms. If I had to pick who I was more like out of the 4, it would definitely be Will. One, because I have glasses, and two, beause I have a smart mouth that sometimes gets me into trouble...
I've had the pleasure (wait, scratch that, it wasnt a pleasure) to meet James Buckley (Jay) during a DJ event in 2010. He is an utter cunt. Plus, aside from the whole "friend" thing, he's actually an annoying wanker in the show. Thankfully, this film makes him look like a right prick with the focus on Will and Simon for the most of it.
The writing was superb, the one-liners were great and yes, from time-to-time I will occasionally throw on We No Speak Americano and try to bust out some of the greatest dance moves ever seen on celluloid! Whats not to like in this film? It had funny one-liners, cringeworthy moments, and boobs! Plus, as it holds the record as the UK's number one film release (for a british film that is), there is talk of a sequel. I reckon that could top the original, and I would again pay to see it!
19th January 2012 - THE LOSERS
I got asked to watch this film in 2010 by a friend of mine who was raving about it. Granted, she had a crush on Jeffery Dean Morgan (aka Robert Downey Jr - that will only be appreciated by about 2 people, but they read this & will give me a slight round of applause for it, I hope!) but it was with trepidation that I watched it back then. You know what, it was damn good. So good that this was the first ever Blu-Ray I purchased.
Now, over a year later, I sat down to watch this tale about a group of ragtag special ops soldiers who are believed dead but come back to get revenge on the guy who set them up. It is still damn good. Chris Evans (not the ginger DJ) was definitely the comedy sidekick, & seeing him utilise the might of Don't Stop Believing whilst pretending to use mind bullets was great.
The baddy - Max - was played by Jason Patric (aka Michael from Lost Boys). It looks likes he was okay with being outside these days, so the vampiric gene must have worn off, or he took it out on Corey Haim last year (too soon? Surely its never too soon to make jokes about the Two Coreys? Tho Feldman is getting off lightly...he looks like a ferret trying to be Michael Jackson. There, I said it!). Patric was so over the top in his role - why cant all baddies be like this?
19th January 2012 - CHILD'S PLAY
Hi I'm Chucky. Wanna Playyyy? I hadn't seen this for years, and watching it now has made me realise how Chucky was so much better as a wise-cracking little mother! Bride of Chucky was full on comedy horror, whilst the first Childs Play was all about the mystery. In fact, for the 1st 40-45 minutes you don't know its the doll, as Andy & Chucky both have the same clothes and are the same size. Granted, we know its Chucky doing it, but the filmmakers did well here.
I like puppets, especially foul mouthed murdering ones. This film had that but minus the wise cracks. In fact he was a really little shit in this one. Who would have thunk that Chucky will still be going (rumour has it that a remake is being made to Childs Play to make it more like Bride of Chucky) after this, as I dont think they were expecting a sequel.
It is a shame that the death of Jamie Bulger in 1993 resulted in a major backlash against Chucky & his films, & that this severely damaged the filmmakers reputation, as well as the reputation of the franchise. With a possible new Chucky film/remake as well as a Chucky game rumoured this year, it could be the year that Charles Lee Ray goes global again!
So my tally for the week is 19 films watched. I've met my average with 2 days left to go, so I reckon I could beat my 21 films in a week record...will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
Thursday 19 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 18
What did I accomplish during Day 18 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
18th January 2012 - CLASH OF THE TITANS
This is the 2010 remake, not the stopmotion 80s classic with Harry Hamlin that had something this remake didn't...BOOBS! That was a rare thing to find in a PG rated movie back in those days. To compare the 2, this is a flashy remake of a film that really hasn't aged badly (at least in my opinion).
Firstly, greek mythology has always intrigued me. Plus as a kid I was scared witless of the original Medusa, so I was looking forward to what the noughties could do with her. What did I think? Well, she wasn't scary at all, and you saw way too much of her than you did in the original, but I liked the layout of her lair. I did regret that they didn't have the giant hound from the original, but it was good to see Bubo (the mechnical owl from the original) get a cameo. Also, I felt Calibos was a much scarier baddy in the 1st film, but thats just minor griping.
2010 was obviously the year of Sam Worthington as this, Terminator Salvation & Avatar made him a household name. I think he is worthy of the Perseus role though, despite his one major flaw, which is not being Harry Hamlin with the Penguin training him to be invisible. Or something along those lines. I just remember Burgess Meredith dying in Rocky 3. I have tears forming now. Someone give me something else to watch. Oh look, Tank Girl...I wonder what that will be like?
18th January 2012 - TANK GIRL
What utter drivel. I understand that upon its release this may have been a good "conversion" of a frankly dated comic strip, but my god its awful! I wish I still took drugs as thats probably the only way that I can get through this with anything other than a look of disgust on my face.
Lori Petty is, to be fair, cute. I loved her in League of Their Own, maybe because it was my equivalent of soft-porn (especially the changing room sequences), so at least I could perv on her in this film. Wrong. She looks awful - that hair job made her face look manly. Plus, she doesn't get naked. Whats up with that?
Ever wondered what Ice-T would look like if he were a white kangaroo? Or where his career went? Look no further. Listen to Bodycount instead of watching him try to act, or at least watch Trespass, that was a great film. Ideally, if you have any plans to watch this film, please break the DVD in half & shove it up your backside. That would get you more pleasure then watching this.
18th January 2012 - DOG SOLDIERS
After watching the tat that was Tank Girl, I knew I wouldn't be disappointed with Dog Soldiers which - if you have read my earlier blogs - you will know that I consider only 2 werewolf films as highly watchable & classy for their generation. Along with American Werewolf in London, THIS is the other film.
Granted, the main star (and survivor) had only really played a priest lost in the lingerie department of a high street clothing chain (Father Ted), but dang did the werewolves look amazing, and Sean Pertwee (yep, the son of Wurzel Gummidge) was amazing as the platoon leader who's guts had to be superglued back into him after a particularly nasty clawing by the big doggie woggies!
The only gripe I had with this was that it was way too predictable as (Spoiler alert - though this film has been out for years so actually, I retract the spoiler alert - if you havent been bothered to watch this til now then you deserve to know what happens) you knew you were in the home of the werewolves & that the woman was one. I guessed that on my first screening of this film.
I have nothing else bad to say about this film (remember the above was only a gripe, and not a negative deconstruction of the film) & advise you to watch the start of the credits to see the full werewolf costume in all its glory...
So far, my tally for the week is 16 films watched, leaving me with just 3 more to watch to keep up with my weekly average of 19 films to watch. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
18th January 2012 - CLASH OF THE TITANS
This is the 2010 remake, not the stopmotion 80s classic with Harry Hamlin that had something this remake didn't...BOOBS! That was a rare thing to find in a PG rated movie back in those days. To compare the 2, this is a flashy remake of a film that really hasn't aged badly (at least in my opinion).
Firstly, greek mythology has always intrigued me. Plus as a kid I was scared witless of the original Medusa, so I was looking forward to what the noughties could do with her. What did I think? Well, she wasn't scary at all, and you saw way too much of her than you did in the original, but I liked the layout of her lair. I did regret that they didn't have the giant hound from the original, but it was good to see Bubo (the mechnical owl from the original) get a cameo. Also, I felt Calibos was a much scarier baddy in the 1st film, but thats just minor griping.
2010 was obviously the year of Sam Worthington as this, Terminator Salvation & Avatar made him a household name. I think he is worthy of the Perseus role though, despite his one major flaw, which is not being Harry Hamlin with the Penguin training him to be invisible. Or something along those lines. I just remember Burgess Meredith dying in Rocky 3. I have tears forming now. Someone give me something else to watch. Oh look, Tank Girl...I wonder what that will be like?
18th January 2012 - TANK GIRL
What utter drivel. I understand that upon its release this may have been a good "conversion" of a frankly dated comic strip, but my god its awful! I wish I still took drugs as thats probably the only way that I can get through this with anything other than a look of disgust on my face.
Lori Petty is, to be fair, cute. I loved her in League of Their Own, maybe because it was my equivalent of soft-porn (especially the changing room sequences), so at least I could perv on her in this film. Wrong. She looks awful - that hair job made her face look manly. Plus, she doesn't get naked. Whats up with that?
Ever wondered what Ice-T would look like if he were a white kangaroo? Or where his career went? Look no further. Listen to Bodycount instead of watching him try to act, or at least watch Trespass, that was a great film. Ideally, if you have any plans to watch this film, please break the DVD in half & shove it up your backside. That would get you more pleasure then watching this.
18th January 2012 - DOG SOLDIERS
After watching the tat that was Tank Girl, I knew I wouldn't be disappointed with Dog Soldiers which - if you have read my earlier blogs - you will know that I consider only 2 werewolf films as highly watchable & classy for their generation. Along with American Werewolf in London, THIS is the other film.
Granted, the main star (and survivor) had only really played a priest lost in the lingerie department of a high street clothing chain (Father Ted), but dang did the werewolves look amazing, and Sean Pertwee (yep, the son of Wurzel Gummidge) was amazing as the platoon leader who's guts had to be superglued back into him after a particularly nasty clawing by the big doggie woggies!
The only gripe I had with this was that it was way too predictable as (Spoiler alert - though this film has been out for years so actually, I retract the spoiler alert - if you havent been bothered to watch this til now then you deserve to know what happens) you knew you were in the home of the werewolves & that the woman was one. I guessed that on my first screening of this film.
I have nothing else bad to say about this film (remember the above was only a gripe, and not a negative deconstruction of the film) & advise you to watch the start of the credits to see the full werewolf costume in all its glory...
So far, my tally for the week is 16 films watched, leaving me with just 3 more to watch to keep up with my weekly average of 19 films to watch. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
Wednesday 18 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 17
What did I accomplish on Day 17 on my challenge? Well I watched the following:
17th January 2012 - EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS
I'm going to admit something to you all now. I like David Arquette as an actor. Granted, he was the worlds worst heavyweight wrestling champion, & his title reign single-handedly led to the downfall of WCW, but something about him makes me enjoy his performance in every film he's in (yes, that includes Ready to Rumble & See Spot Run).
In this he plays some guy who comes back to his daddys mine in some arizona town. Unfortunately, the town is getting overrun by giant (awful) CGI spiders. He plays the same character in every film, does Doofus Arquette. He wants to look like the leading man but he's as tough as a wet paper bag. I was expecting his momma to come along & help him out at some point, he looked so lost...
What I dont get is that this film has a teenage who spends time on his computer looking for spider types rather than porn. Do the directors not do their research. Granted, if I was into spiders as a teenager I would probably have used the net to catalogue these, but thats only inbetween the 24 wanks I was having that day.
Anyways, back to the film. It was ok. Mediocre at best. Effects were awful, The cast of Cool Runnings couldn't help the comedy & no-one got their boobs out. What happened to film in america?
17th January 2012 - REAL STEEL
Loved this film. I mean it, I absolutely fucking loved this film. My favourite film of all time is Rocky 4, and this was basically all the best bits from Rocky 1-4, but instead of Rocky, Apollo, Drago et al, we get big fricking robots beating the crap out of each other. I literally had a robot chubby watching this.
If you dont include the robots, its a heartwarming tale of a dad selling his long-abandoned son to his dead mother's sister in an attempt to buy a robot & win some money. In the end son & pop bond & invest in a shit robot that was used as a sparring partner, so can take some damage but cant dish it out. Heartwarming tale I know. But that doesn't matter as this is a film about BOXING ROBOTS. If only it were wrestling robots then I may actually jizz in my pants.
I won't knock this film, it probably is the best film I've watched this year, even though it was released last year, but does it beat Rise of the Planet of the Apes as my film of 2011? Its close but I think it just misses out, it gets 99.9% for effort tho!
17th January - DEVIL
A story about 5 people trapped in a lift with the Devil (or some mexican equivalent)? Sounds intriguing, and it actually was. I wondered how they would build the suspense up & it worked well. This stuff never happens here tho. In fact all we get at my work is people either getting stuck in the lift due to weight constraints, or someone dropping a dirty bomb in one, although that could be considered hazardous I suppose.
One thing about this film is that its very short, about 1hr 15mins, so I new it wouldnt be a long suspensful journey. I just wanted to see someone die and, maybe on the odd occasion, some boobs. If I wanted to see a fat mexican praying to god then I'd go to Taco Bell. Until then, to the directors of horror films, give us more boobs!!!!!
So far, my tally for the week is 13 films watched, leaving me with just 6 more to watch to keep my 19 film average. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
17th January 2012 - EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS
I'm going to admit something to you all now. I like David Arquette as an actor. Granted, he was the worlds worst heavyweight wrestling champion, & his title reign single-handedly led to the downfall of WCW, but something about him makes me enjoy his performance in every film he's in (yes, that includes Ready to Rumble & See Spot Run).
In this he plays some guy who comes back to his daddys mine in some arizona town. Unfortunately, the town is getting overrun by giant (awful) CGI spiders. He plays the same character in every film, does Doofus Arquette. He wants to look like the leading man but he's as tough as a wet paper bag. I was expecting his momma to come along & help him out at some point, he looked so lost...
What I dont get is that this film has a teenage who spends time on his computer looking for spider types rather than porn. Do the directors not do their research. Granted, if I was into spiders as a teenager I would probably have used the net to catalogue these, but thats only inbetween the 24 wanks I was having that day.
Anyways, back to the film. It was ok. Mediocre at best. Effects were awful, The cast of Cool Runnings couldn't help the comedy & no-one got their boobs out. What happened to film in america?
17th January 2012 - REAL STEEL
Loved this film. I mean it, I absolutely fucking loved this film. My favourite film of all time is Rocky 4, and this was basically all the best bits from Rocky 1-4, but instead of Rocky, Apollo, Drago et al, we get big fricking robots beating the crap out of each other. I literally had a robot chubby watching this.
If you dont include the robots, its a heartwarming tale of a dad selling his long-abandoned son to his dead mother's sister in an attempt to buy a robot & win some money. In the end son & pop bond & invest in a shit robot that was used as a sparring partner, so can take some damage but cant dish it out. Heartwarming tale I know. But that doesn't matter as this is a film about BOXING ROBOTS. If only it were wrestling robots then I may actually jizz in my pants.
I won't knock this film, it probably is the best film I've watched this year, even though it was released last year, but does it beat Rise of the Planet of the Apes as my film of 2011? Its close but I think it just misses out, it gets 99.9% for effort tho!
17th January - DEVIL
A story about 5 people trapped in a lift with the Devil (or some mexican equivalent)? Sounds intriguing, and it actually was. I wondered how they would build the suspense up & it worked well. This stuff never happens here tho. In fact all we get at my work is people either getting stuck in the lift due to weight constraints, or someone dropping a dirty bomb in one, although that could be considered hazardous I suppose.
One thing about this film is that its very short, about 1hr 15mins, so I new it wouldnt be a long suspensful journey. I just wanted to see someone die and, maybe on the odd occasion, some boobs. If I wanted to see a fat mexican praying to god then I'd go to Taco Bell. Until then, to the directors of horror films, give us more boobs!!!!!
So far, my tally for the week is 13 films watched, leaving me with just 6 more to watch to keep my 19 film average. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
Tuesday 17 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 16
What did I accomplish during Day 16 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
16th January 2012 - THE A-TEAM
From Development Hell to the big screen in just over 20 years...cant believe it took that long to get this film, but I love it when a plan comes together! This deviated away from the original series in almost every way, except for the character names. It does have blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameos from Dirk Benedict & Dwight Shultz (Face & Murdoch), but was missing Mr T.
Speaking of Mr T, his BA character was much better than Quinton Jackson's. Firstly, Mr T never uttered the immortal words Pity the Fool in the show (it was in Rocky 3), yet he has them tattooed on his hands in this film? And turning BA into a pacifist? Shame on you filmmakers! No wonder the box office wasnt great for this film.
If you ignore that this is a big screen version of a classic show, you will appreciate it more. The storyline is good, and the action & comedy mixes well. It just doesnt feel like these guys were available for hire to the common man. It was missing what made the show, but I cant put my finger on what it is. Maybe its the cheesiness, maybe something else. Suggestions on a postcard please...until then, Alpha Mother Foxtrot...ADIOS MOTHER F#?!$R!
16th January 2012 - MAN ON FIRE
This is an absolutely awesome film. Ever wanted to see an old fat mexican get blown up courtesy of a grenade up the jacksy? Then watch this when you can! Its basically a revenge tale of a burned-out drunk ex US assisin who moves to Mexico to become a bodyguard. he doesnt like the person he has to protect (its Dakota Fanning - the screamy girl from War of the Worlds, no wonder he wants to ignore her) but they then become friends, she gets kidnapped & he gets shot to shit.
When the ransom goes wrong, the kid dies & he decides to murder everyone involved, despite being in the process of dying himself. Cue fingers being cut off & shot off, rocket grenades, gunfire & a damn good plot. So good that I get emotional and will shed a tear at the end (not in the alternative ending, that shit just makes me laugh heartily).
Denzel is badass as always, and this just cranks it up to 11. He is very professional &, dare I say, quite a friendly killer. Christopher Walken is also in it, though his role is just to provide a soundbite for the trailer...and to supply the guns...no dancing whatsoever. i need to watch that Fatboy Slim video again!
So far, thats a total of 10 films watched this week, with just 9 more required by close of play Saturday night to meet my average. Will I make it? Keep an eye on the blog!
16th January 2012 - THE A-TEAM
From Development Hell to the big screen in just over 20 years...cant believe it took that long to get this film, but I love it when a plan comes together! This deviated away from the original series in almost every way, except for the character names. It does have blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameos from Dirk Benedict & Dwight Shultz (Face & Murdoch), but was missing Mr T.
Speaking of Mr T, his BA character was much better than Quinton Jackson's. Firstly, Mr T never uttered the immortal words Pity the Fool in the show (it was in Rocky 3), yet he has them tattooed on his hands in this film? And turning BA into a pacifist? Shame on you filmmakers! No wonder the box office wasnt great for this film.
If you ignore that this is a big screen version of a classic show, you will appreciate it more. The storyline is good, and the action & comedy mixes well. It just doesnt feel like these guys were available for hire to the common man. It was missing what made the show, but I cant put my finger on what it is. Maybe its the cheesiness, maybe something else. Suggestions on a postcard please...until then, Alpha Mother Foxtrot...ADIOS MOTHER F#?!$R!
16th January 2012 - MAN ON FIRE
This is an absolutely awesome film. Ever wanted to see an old fat mexican get blown up courtesy of a grenade up the jacksy? Then watch this when you can! Its basically a revenge tale of a burned-out drunk ex US assisin who moves to Mexico to become a bodyguard. he doesnt like the person he has to protect (its Dakota Fanning - the screamy girl from War of the Worlds, no wonder he wants to ignore her) but they then become friends, she gets kidnapped & he gets shot to shit.
When the ransom goes wrong, the kid dies & he decides to murder everyone involved, despite being in the process of dying himself. Cue fingers being cut off & shot off, rocket grenades, gunfire & a damn good plot. So good that I get emotional and will shed a tear at the end (not in the alternative ending, that shit just makes me laugh heartily).
Denzel is badass as always, and this just cranks it up to 11. He is very professional &, dare I say, quite a friendly killer. Christopher Walken is also in it, though his role is just to provide a soundbite for the trailer...and to supply the guns...no dancing whatsoever. i need to watch that Fatboy Slim video again!
So far, thats a total of 10 films watched this week, with just 9 more required by close of play Saturday night to meet my average. Will I make it? Keep an eye on the blog!
Monday 16 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 15
I'm now 2 weeks into my challenge, and needed to have watched 38 films to get to this point. As I start week 3 I can confirm that I actually watched a total of 41 films, so am 3 over my average. I reckon I will save those up for days when I may not get the chance to watch some...
I needed to start this week off with a bang, seeing as I'm busy Saturday daytime & evening & may not get the chance to watch much that day. How did I do? Well I saw the following:
16th January 2012 - FINAL DESTINATION 2
I remember watching this at the cinema with me mate Spencer. I also remember the looks we got from staff when we came out of the cinema laughing our heads off. It was just the ending of it - "we saved your son from being killed - oh, that was lucky - KABOOOM!" and her sons arm lands in front of her whilst she has a knife & fork in hand. I doubt it was supposed to be funny but I found that hilarious.
I liked this film, not as much as the first but more to wonder how people were going to die. This was also the first film of the series that decided to throw in more gore. Decapitations & Tri-secting? You got it! Faced getting caved in by a big log? Yep, but its not as scary as those german shieze films I've seen in the past (thats seen, not owned...anymore).
Until the 5th film came out, this was the last of the stellar films in the series, and thats not saying much, as I didn't give a flip about any of the characters - especially the retarded teenager who still chases after pigeons. He deserved to die for having the mental age of about 4 and for believing that chasing pigeons is fun. What a dick.
16th January 2012 - SECRET WINDOW
Ignore the title, there really is no secret window. In fact the house has a window that can be seen from the outside. Thats no secret, its just a window. Some people really don't get this film. I like it, as its the first Stephen King adaption that doesnt involve aliens or the paranormal.
Johnny Depp plays a writer who, upon finding his missus getting diddled by a smarmy bastard, he moves to an isolated cabin to write in solitude. Whilst there he meets the paedophile from Big Ledbowski who doesn't start gyrating & bowling, but he does claim Depp stole his story, & things then happen before we find out that Depp is - in a professional term - bat-shit crazy & was making things up as he went along.
Johnny Depp does crazy quite well, as we have witnessed in the Pirates films. Plus, for only the 1st time since I watched The Cottage a few years back, he knows how to decapitate a human with a shovel. At the end of it, he's still bat-shit crazy & addicted to corn. Way to live the dream Johnny!
16th January 2012 - JACKASS 3.5
Ok, granted this is a kind-of behind the scenes version of Jackass 3. However, this was released theatrically & is considered a stand-alone film. Why? Because 90% of it is made up of unused bits from the filming of Jackass 3.
Whilst Jackass 3 was one of the funniest films I had seen in years at the cinema, 3.5 was lacking that. Granted, if you ever wanted to see Johnny Knoxville wipe horse cum on his face, Bam Margera being double kicked in the face, long jump enemas, slow motion testicle defilements, and people getting hit in the nuts with a wet fish, then this may be for you.
I can't believe this only came out a few months after Jackass 3 &, in that time, my humour levels must have dropped or - more scarily - I may have gotten older...damn, that sum-bitch creeped right up on me! Thankfully I'm not going grey yet, at least not in my pubes...
16th January 2012 - UP
If you do not find the start to this film emotional then YOU HAVE NO SOUL (no offence intended to ginger people, but we already know you have no souls)! And thats coming from a Disney film. I'm a grown man at 33 years of age but last year I found myself crying to 2 films, Up and Toy Story 3 (I plan to watch Toy Story 3 at some point this year, so more tears will be shed no doubt).
For a fricking Disney film, the first 15 minutes are pretty tough going - young boy finds young girl, they grow up together, get married & set their dream to go travelling & explore the world. When household requirements change that dream they decide to have a baby but - here's the 1st harsh part - SHE CANT HAVE KIDS! So they grow up together, he buys her tickets to travel, THEN SHE DIES! So, 15 minutes in & I'm already wiping tears away. Damn you Disney, you heart-string-tugging bastards!
What happens next is a lovely tale of an old man taking the house he shared with his wife to a place called Paradise Falls to spend his remaining days. Unfortunately he ends up with a boy scout, a female bird called Kevin, and the happiest dog in the world called Dug. All the while they need to escape from Alpha, a helium voiced dog, and his cronies. All of whom can talk. Woe betide them if they do wrong tho, as they would have to wear the cone of shame...
It had been about a year since I last saw this, and I love it. Sure, it has a very sad beginning, but the film is great fun & I won't knock it. Plus, it had me in tears when Carl went through Ellie's adventure book for the first time in years only to find that she filled it with their adventures & left him a note JUST BEFORE SHE DIED telling him to have a new adventure. All this emotion, I just need something to switch off to, which brings me neatly onto...
16th January 2012 - CANNONBALL RUN II
...Cannonball Run 2. A film so pointless that it shouldn't be enjoyable. Yet it is. Why? Because Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Telly Savalas, and Jackie Chan obviously dont give a crap about script or stupidness, as they are just out there having a blast. Also, this film involves an orang-utan beating people up & giving people the finger. I don't know who won the race, I dont think they show you. I just wish that the orang-utan had more screen time...
16th January 2012 - ANCHORMAN
I got my afternoon delight alright, I even provided 2 tickets to the gun show. After all that tho, I love Lamp...and Ron Burgundy! Awesome film! Firstly, it has Will Ferrell in it. Secondly, one of the first lines in the film include "the human torch was denied a bank loan". As is the case with every Will Ferrell comedy, there's always loads of quotable lines in it, & the supporting cast are now part of the frat pack (Will Ferrell, Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughan) & make the film that little bit better.
I need to obtain Wake Up Ron Burgundy, as thats the official "sequel" to this film, but am wary as I doubt it will be as funny (its made up of scenes that were cut from this film). If Brick Tamland, Brian Fontana, Champ Kind, Ron Burgundy et al can do a proper sequel that would be great, in fact it would be better than sex panther, as it 60% of the time it would work all of the time, even if it does smell like Bigfoots dick!
Its basically a 1970's set film about a news anchor and his team having to learn how to accept change in the workplace & hire a woman anchor. It doesn't sound like much but let me pull out the jazz-flute & toot a few bars for you, then take you to pleasuretown & do you on a rainbow. Then you'll be hooked. I guarantee it.
16th January 2012 - X-MEN: FIRST CLASS
Or a load of mutants that I wasn't even aware of. I was never a big comic book reader as a kid, so a lot of the mutants (other than the biggies) are unknown to me. This was written by Jonathan Ross's wife, who has cracking tits, & that translated into this film, as there are some tits on show...shame they are diamond encrusted or blue so you cant get the full effect.
For those wondering how Magneto, Professor X et al came about then this is the film for you. What I don't understand is how Magneto was a German jew, who can speak all manner of languages, yet when he speaks English he has no German accent, and he keeps flipping from English, to Irish, to Welsh. Kevin Costner & Russell Crowe would be proud!
Turns out that Magneto learnt how to use his powers for good, only to turn bad when confronting the murderer of his mother. Who turned out to be Kevin Bacon. What were the odds on that? Kevin Bacon being in the Nazi business then, not aging at all. I was half expecting him to start dancing halfway through the film...
16th January 2012 - I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA
This was a little gem from the late 80s that my brother managed to obtain. I knew flip all about it but lets just say that it does to black exploitation films what Airplane did to plane disaster movies. Remember Scary Movie? That was made by the same guy that did this.
The plot is great - Jack Spade, soldier in the army, comes home upon hearing of his brothers death. How did he die? From wearing too much gold. Literally. How the hell did he go to the toilet in all that gold? Turns out Mr Big is getting kids hooked into wearing gold (cos Drugs is wrong), so Jack Spade turns to the old crew (including Isaac Hayes) to take on Mr Big. Along the way they have to deal with midgets, menstrual cramps and an over-bearing mother. All whilst the bad guys are choosing to jump out windows or fall down the stairs.
Man, this film has not lost its humour, I was still laughing my ass off! If you get the chance, please obtain this & watch it. Its got a great cast, plus midgets, & a woman with a fake ass & no hair. Plus stuntmen in dresses. Its over-the-top comedy and I loved it!
So thats 8 films in one day, leaving me just 11 left to watch this week to get my average of 19. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
I needed to start this week off with a bang, seeing as I'm busy Saturday daytime & evening & may not get the chance to watch much that day. How did I do? Well I saw the following:
16th January 2012 - FINAL DESTINATION 2
I remember watching this at the cinema with me mate Spencer. I also remember the looks we got from staff when we came out of the cinema laughing our heads off. It was just the ending of it - "we saved your son from being killed - oh, that was lucky - KABOOOM!" and her sons arm lands in front of her whilst she has a knife & fork in hand. I doubt it was supposed to be funny but I found that hilarious.
I liked this film, not as much as the first but more to wonder how people were going to die. This was also the first film of the series that decided to throw in more gore. Decapitations & Tri-secting? You got it! Faced getting caved in by a big log? Yep, but its not as scary as those german shieze films I've seen in the past (thats seen, not owned...anymore).
Until the 5th film came out, this was the last of the stellar films in the series, and thats not saying much, as I didn't give a flip about any of the characters - especially the retarded teenager who still chases after pigeons. He deserved to die for having the mental age of about 4 and for believing that chasing pigeons is fun. What a dick.
16th January 2012 - SECRET WINDOW
Ignore the title, there really is no secret window. In fact the house has a window that can be seen from the outside. Thats no secret, its just a window. Some people really don't get this film. I like it, as its the first Stephen King adaption that doesnt involve aliens or the paranormal.
Johnny Depp plays a writer who, upon finding his missus getting diddled by a smarmy bastard, he moves to an isolated cabin to write in solitude. Whilst there he meets the paedophile from Big Ledbowski who doesn't start gyrating & bowling, but he does claim Depp stole his story, & things then happen before we find out that Depp is - in a professional term - bat-shit crazy & was making things up as he went along.
Johnny Depp does crazy quite well, as we have witnessed in the Pirates films. Plus, for only the 1st time since I watched The Cottage a few years back, he knows how to decapitate a human with a shovel. At the end of it, he's still bat-shit crazy & addicted to corn. Way to live the dream Johnny!
16th January 2012 - JACKASS 3.5
Ok, granted this is a kind-of behind the scenes version of Jackass 3. However, this was released theatrically & is considered a stand-alone film. Why? Because 90% of it is made up of unused bits from the filming of Jackass 3.
Whilst Jackass 3 was one of the funniest films I had seen in years at the cinema, 3.5 was lacking that. Granted, if you ever wanted to see Johnny Knoxville wipe horse cum on his face, Bam Margera being double kicked in the face, long jump enemas, slow motion testicle defilements, and people getting hit in the nuts with a wet fish, then this may be for you.
I can't believe this only came out a few months after Jackass 3 &, in that time, my humour levels must have dropped or - more scarily - I may have gotten older...damn, that sum-bitch creeped right up on me! Thankfully I'm not going grey yet, at least not in my pubes...
16th January 2012 - UP
If you do not find the start to this film emotional then YOU HAVE NO SOUL (no offence intended to ginger people, but we already know you have no souls)! And thats coming from a Disney film. I'm a grown man at 33 years of age but last year I found myself crying to 2 films, Up and Toy Story 3 (I plan to watch Toy Story 3 at some point this year, so more tears will be shed no doubt).
For a fricking Disney film, the first 15 minutes are pretty tough going - young boy finds young girl, they grow up together, get married & set their dream to go travelling & explore the world. When household requirements change that dream they decide to have a baby but - here's the 1st harsh part - SHE CANT HAVE KIDS! So they grow up together, he buys her tickets to travel, THEN SHE DIES! So, 15 minutes in & I'm already wiping tears away. Damn you Disney, you heart-string-tugging bastards!
What happens next is a lovely tale of an old man taking the house he shared with his wife to a place called Paradise Falls to spend his remaining days. Unfortunately he ends up with a boy scout, a female bird called Kevin, and the happiest dog in the world called Dug. All the while they need to escape from Alpha, a helium voiced dog, and his cronies. All of whom can talk. Woe betide them if they do wrong tho, as they would have to wear the cone of shame...
It had been about a year since I last saw this, and I love it. Sure, it has a very sad beginning, but the film is great fun & I won't knock it. Plus, it had me in tears when Carl went through Ellie's adventure book for the first time in years only to find that she filled it with their adventures & left him a note JUST BEFORE SHE DIED telling him to have a new adventure. All this emotion, I just need something to switch off to, which brings me neatly onto...
16th January 2012 - CANNONBALL RUN II
...Cannonball Run 2. A film so pointless that it shouldn't be enjoyable. Yet it is. Why? Because Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Telly Savalas, and Jackie Chan obviously dont give a crap about script or stupidness, as they are just out there having a blast. Also, this film involves an orang-utan beating people up & giving people the finger. I don't know who won the race, I dont think they show you. I just wish that the orang-utan had more screen time...
16th January 2012 - ANCHORMAN
I got my afternoon delight alright, I even provided 2 tickets to the gun show. After all that tho, I love Lamp...and Ron Burgundy! Awesome film! Firstly, it has Will Ferrell in it. Secondly, one of the first lines in the film include "the human torch was denied a bank loan". As is the case with every Will Ferrell comedy, there's always loads of quotable lines in it, & the supporting cast are now part of the frat pack (Will Ferrell, Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughan) & make the film that little bit better.
I need to obtain Wake Up Ron Burgundy, as thats the official "sequel" to this film, but am wary as I doubt it will be as funny (its made up of scenes that were cut from this film). If Brick Tamland, Brian Fontana, Champ Kind, Ron Burgundy et al can do a proper sequel that would be great, in fact it would be better than sex panther, as it 60% of the time it would work all of the time, even if it does smell like Bigfoots dick!
Its basically a 1970's set film about a news anchor and his team having to learn how to accept change in the workplace & hire a woman anchor. It doesn't sound like much but let me pull out the jazz-flute & toot a few bars for you, then take you to pleasuretown & do you on a rainbow. Then you'll be hooked. I guarantee it.
16th January 2012 - X-MEN: FIRST CLASS
Or a load of mutants that I wasn't even aware of. I was never a big comic book reader as a kid, so a lot of the mutants (other than the biggies) are unknown to me. This was written by Jonathan Ross's wife, who has cracking tits, & that translated into this film, as there are some tits on show...shame they are diamond encrusted or blue so you cant get the full effect.
For those wondering how Magneto, Professor X et al came about then this is the film for you. What I don't understand is how Magneto was a German jew, who can speak all manner of languages, yet when he speaks English he has no German accent, and he keeps flipping from English, to Irish, to Welsh. Kevin Costner & Russell Crowe would be proud!
Turns out that Magneto learnt how to use his powers for good, only to turn bad when confronting the murderer of his mother. Who turned out to be Kevin Bacon. What were the odds on that? Kevin Bacon being in the Nazi business then, not aging at all. I was half expecting him to start dancing halfway through the film...
16th January 2012 - I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA
This was a little gem from the late 80s that my brother managed to obtain. I knew flip all about it but lets just say that it does to black exploitation films what Airplane did to plane disaster movies. Remember Scary Movie? That was made by the same guy that did this.
The plot is great - Jack Spade, soldier in the army, comes home upon hearing of his brothers death. How did he die? From wearing too much gold. Literally. How the hell did he go to the toilet in all that gold? Turns out Mr Big is getting kids hooked into wearing gold (cos Drugs is wrong), so Jack Spade turns to the old crew (including Isaac Hayes) to take on Mr Big. Along the way they have to deal with midgets, menstrual cramps and an over-bearing mother. All whilst the bad guys are choosing to jump out windows or fall down the stairs.
Man, this film has not lost its humour, I was still laughing my ass off! If you get the chance, please obtain this & watch it. Its got a great cast, plus midgets, & a woman with a fake ass & no hair. Plus stuntmen in dresses. Its over-the-top comedy and I loved it!
So thats 8 films in one day, leaving me just 11 left to watch this week to get my average of 19. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
Sunday 15 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Week 2
So week 2 is out of the way, and I was required to average 19 films a week in order to stay on track. In week 1 I accomplished viewing of 21 films. In week 2 I managed 20 films. Above average, just like me :D
Here's what I watched in week 2:
Collateral
Contagion
Cursed
Ed Wood
Final Destination
The Golden Child
Johnny English Reborn
National Treasure
The Others
Pineapple Express
The Rock
Rush Hour
Rush Hour 2
Rush Hour 3
Shallow Hal
Sharktopus
Starchaser: The Legend of Orin
Trading Places
There's Something About Mary
Weekend At Bernies 2
Week 2 is over, just 50 more to go. 41 films have been watched in just 2 weeks, leaving 959 left to watch in 2012. A new week involves a new chance to increase my average...
Here's what I watched in week 2:
Collateral
Contagion
Cursed
Ed Wood
Final Destination
The Golden Child
Johnny English Reborn
National Treasure
The Others
Pineapple Express
The Rock
Rush Hour
Rush Hour 2
Rush Hour 3
Shallow Hal
Sharktopus
Starchaser: The Legend of Orin
Trading Places
There's Something About Mary
Weekend At Bernies 2
Week 2 is over, just 50 more to go. 41 films have been watched in just 2 weeks, leaving 959 left to watch in 2012. A new week involves a new chance to increase my average...
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 14
What did I accomplish during Day 14 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
14th January 2012 - JOHNNY ENGLISH REBORN
I liked the original Johnny English. Maybe it's because I remember the original MI7 Barclaycard adverts that featured Johnny & his sidekick Bough. The first film had some amazingly funny moments in it. This film, not so much. Granted, its is funny but it seems like Rowan Atkinson scaled down the funny bits.
Surprised to see Gillian Andersen in it tho, especially portraying an English accent that sounds like she had elocution lessons from Kevin Costner & Russell Crowe. The bad guy, as always, is a brit. But he doesnt have the ruthfulness of an Alan Rickman. Hell, he isn't even as camp as John Malkovich was in the first film.
If watching a rubber faced senior citizen outrunning every fast car available whilst on a high-powered wheelchair is your thing then give this a go. For some reason this should have been my sort of film - there's slapstick & people getting kicked in the balls, but it just wasn't that great.
14th January 2012 - RUSH HOUR
Yes, I know, I went through this trilogy really arse-about-face, but hey, at least I saved the best to last. For the second film in a row today, the bad guy is a brit, this time its a senior citizen stripper from Sheffield (if you've seen the Full Monty then you'll get that).
This is the only film that I can just about tolerate Chris Tucker. He takes being a gay black man to a new extreme. He wants to be a bad ass but can't quite stop sucking cock. Jackie Chan is the same character has has always played, and race relations between China and the West have died a little.
Why did they choose Rush Hour as the title? Aside from a kidnapping in early Los Angeles traffic, theres no mention of a Rush Hour, nor is there any such thing in either of the sequels. Its just a crazy fish-out-of water story that sort of worked in the sequel but didn't work at all in the 3rd.
Thankfully, Rush Hour is over, and Chris Tucker hasnt worked since the 3rd one. There is a god.
14th January 2012 - THE OTHERS
Not technically a brit, but Nicole Kidman does an amazing english accent, so this heart-warming tale of a homicidal & suicidal english woman who believes her house is haunted does have a "brit" as the bad guy.
So, this should come as no surpise that there is a "twist" to this film, yet if you pay attention you will know that isn't the case at all, as the signs were there about 20 minutes into it. Her kids were kept in the dark as they would burn otherwise, probably because they're vampires. That would have been a good twist right? Vampire children murdered by their mum, come back to haunt their house.
This was advertised as a very chilling film. Nope. It is suspenseful but its not as chilling as other films, such as The Phantom Menace. Or Big Bad Women in heat, though that is one of my artistic favourites.
14th January 2012 - STARCHASER: THE LEGEND OF ORIN
I remember watching this film at the old Cannon cinema on London Road (it closed down many years ago and is now a Halfords) back in 1985, as a 6 year old Star Wars fan. This was billed as Star Wars by cartoon. Remember, this was back in the day when animation was only Disney family films. This was also back in the day when films had an intermission halfway through, and was the last film I remember seeing that had that.
It tells the tale of Orin, a miner from Mineworld who finds a hikt of a sword whilst mining & uses it to run away with his female worker & a blind kid. Running through a furnace to escape the Battlestar Galactica robot captors they run through a furnace & realise its all been a lie & that there is a planet above them. Or something along those lines.
One thing I noticed about this is that its really fucking dark! Man bots cutting body parts off people to make them look better, some of the heroes dying straight away. This aint no kids film, especially when you find out where the Fembots have their personality chips (its up their hershey highway).
How the hell George Lucas didn't sue somebody over this is beyond me. Young boy who wants to break out of his boring life = check. Troopers working for a higher power = check. A planetshaped ship = check. Some lightsaber related stuff = check (granted they are light-whips but the sword also lights up). A dark lord = check. Droids = check. Trust me when I say that whilst this isn't that good, it's much better than the Phantom Menace.
14th January 2012 - ED WOOD
Its Tim Burton. Its Johnny Depp. Its the story of one of the worst directors in the world. And its goood! Ed Wood was always cheery & had ideas of shit films he wanted to make, no matter of cost or the actual look of the films. Since he died (after making nudie monster films) his films became cult classics. And they are awful. The sort of films you make when you're about 6.
I want dismiss this film or knock it in any way. It served a good purpose in explaining the life of a conflicted genius (I use that term in the loosest sense). Plus, Sarah Jessica Parker gets told she looks like a horse. You've heard that said about her before right? Yeah, thats from this film. And thats why Ed Wood rocks as a film.
So the tally for the week ended up at 20 films viewed, thats one more than my required average of 19 a week. Will week 3 be accomplished? I fricking hope so!
14th January 2012 - JOHNNY ENGLISH REBORN
I liked the original Johnny English. Maybe it's because I remember the original MI7 Barclaycard adverts that featured Johnny & his sidekick Bough. The first film had some amazingly funny moments in it. This film, not so much. Granted, its is funny but it seems like Rowan Atkinson scaled down the funny bits.
Surprised to see Gillian Andersen in it tho, especially portraying an English accent that sounds like she had elocution lessons from Kevin Costner & Russell Crowe. The bad guy, as always, is a brit. But he doesnt have the ruthfulness of an Alan Rickman. Hell, he isn't even as camp as John Malkovich was in the first film.
If watching a rubber faced senior citizen outrunning every fast car available whilst on a high-powered wheelchair is your thing then give this a go. For some reason this should have been my sort of film - there's slapstick & people getting kicked in the balls, but it just wasn't that great.
14th January 2012 - RUSH HOUR
Yes, I know, I went through this trilogy really arse-about-face, but hey, at least I saved the best to last. For the second film in a row today, the bad guy is a brit, this time its a senior citizen stripper from Sheffield (if you've seen the Full Monty then you'll get that).
This is the only film that I can just about tolerate Chris Tucker. He takes being a gay black man to a new extreme. He wants to be a bad ass but can't quite stop sucking cock. Jackie Chan is the same character has has always played, and race relations between China and the West have died a little.
Why did they choose Rush Hour as the title? Aside from a kidnapping in early Los Angeles traffic, theres no mention of a Rush Hour, nor is there any such thing in either of the sequels. Its just a crazy fish-out-of water story that sort of worked in the sequel but didn't work at all in the 3rd.
Thankfully, Rush Hour is over, and Chris Tucker hasnt worked since the 3rd one. There is a god.
14th January 2012 - THE OTHERS
Not technically a brit, but Nicole Kidman does an amazing english accent, so this heart-warming tale of a homicidal & suicidal english woman who believes her house is haunted does have a "brit" as the bad guy.
So, this should come as no surpise that there is a "twist" to this film, yet if you pay attention you will know that isn't the case at all, as the signs were there about 20 minutes into it. Her kids were kept in the dark as they would burn otherwise, probably because they're vampires. That would have been a good twist right? Vampire children murdered by their mum, come back to haunt their house.
This was advertised as a very chilling film. Nope. It is suspenseful but its not as chilling as other films, such as The Phantom Menace. Or Big Bad Women in heat, though that is one of my artistic favourites.
14th January 2012 - STARCHASER: THE LEGEND OF ORIN
I remember watching this film at the old Cannon cinema on London Road (it closed down many years ago and is now a Halfords) back in 1985, as a 6 year old Star Wars fan. This was billed as Star Wars by cartoon. Remember, this was back in the day when animation was only Disney family films. This was also back in the day when films had an intermission halfway through, and was the last film I remember seeing that had that.
It tells the tale of Orin, a miner from Mineworld who finds a hikt of a sword whilst mining & uses it to run away with his female worker & a blind kid. Running through a furnace to escape the Battlestar Galactica robot captors they run through a furnace & realise its all been a lie & that there is a planet above them. Or something along those lines.
One thing I noticed about this is that its really fucking dark! Man bots cutting body parts off people to make them look better, some of the heroes dying straight away. This aint no kids film, especially when you find out where the Fembots have their personality chips (its up their hershey highway).
How the hell George Lucas didn't sue somebody over this is beyond me. Young boy who wants to break out of his boring life = check. Troopers working for a higher power = check. A planetshaped ship = check. Some lightsaber related stuff = check (granted they are light-whips but the sword also lights up). A dark lord = check. Droids = check. Trust me when I say that whilst this isn't that good, it's much better than the Phantom Menace.
14th January 2012 - ED WOOD
Its Tim Burton. Its Johnny Depp. Its the story of one of the worst directors in the world. And its goood! Ed Wood was always cheery & had ideas of shit films he wanted to make, no matter of cost or the actual look of the films. Since he died (after making nudie monster films) his films became cult classics. And they are awful. The sort of films you make when you're about 6.
I want dismiss this film or knock it in any way. It served a good purpose in explaining the life of a conflicted genius (I use that term in the loosest sense). Plus, Sarah Jessica Parker gets told she looks like a horse. You've heard that said about her before right? Yeah, thats from this film. And thats why Ed Wood rocks as a film.
So the tally for the week ended up at 20 films viewed, thats one more than my required average of 19 a week. Will week 3 be accomplished? I fricking hope so!
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