What did I accomplish during Day 11 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
11th January 2012 - RUSH HOUR 3
Yesterday I watched Rush Hour 2. Granted its an okay film but this isnt. It tries to be the first Rush Hour, but fails. You wonder why Chris Tucker hasn't had a job since...actually, you don't need to. Its painfully obvious. He is shit. Simples.
You know why I hated this film? Because its trying to be something its not - don't believe me, check out the scene at the karate dojo & tell me its not trying to copy Austin Powers! The first & 2nd Rush Hour films were unique as they involved 2 different lifestyles coming together to solve a crime. In the first its the chinese in LA, whilst its reversed in the 2nd film. In Rush Hour 3 there's nothing unique, but as its a sequel its obviously set in a foreign place, namely garlic munching Paris.
Whilst I sat and watched this, I think I spent around 60 minutes thinking about stabbing myself in the head with a fork, whilst shouting WHY GOD, WHY? I DISLIKE THIS FILM BUT CANT STOP WATCHING IT. SMITE ME OH SMITEY SMITER!!! The plot involves the ambassador from the first film getting shot & Chris Tucker trying not to be gay & sex up the ambassadors daughter. Who was only ten in 2001. Yet at 17 she's fair game. You have to admire Hollywood for just keeping shy of the paedo range...
God forbid them if they decide to make Rush Hour 4...yet the completist in me will still buy it to have all 4 films. I must have a problem.
11th January 2012 - CURSED
Oh Wes Craven. What happened to you? You made some damn good horror films in the 70s & 80s, then redefined the slasher genre in the 90s with the Scream franchise. He even moved away from horror with the film Red Eye (which was very good indeed as a tense thriller). Then he made this turgid pile of dog crap.
Really? A teen werewolf movie? Aside from American Werewolf in London (not Paris, those CG motherfuckers should be denied their entry into the world of film), The Howling and Dog Soldiers, werewolf films suck major arse. Granted Christina Ricci & her wobbly boobies kept me watching, but the fake michael cera (Jesse Einsberg) as a geek turned gay icon wrestler, and Joshua Jackson as...well, every character he's ever played in his life...really didn't get my attention.
Unfortunately, the story of brother, sister & their dog becoming werewolves in Hollywood could have been better. First off, why the feck did Bowling for Soup get star billing? Not everyone died - which I was hoping. And having lived in Hollywood I knew the locations in the film (other than Hollywood Boulevard) were actually filmed in San Fernando Valley or the Frisco Bay. You can't beat me Wes, I'm a smart motherfucking werewolf!
If you have seen the 3 named werewolf films above but are curious, please watch an episode of the X-Files where the native americans are getting slaughtered by a wolf. Thats hardcore badass & it runs 40 minutes less than this pile of stinking cesspit puke! Plus points only include Christina Ricci's boobs, but they get marked down for staying covered up. Shame on you Wes!!!!!
11th January 2012 - PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
People seem to dislike this film. I have no idea why. I really enjoy it, especially James "Harry Osbourne" Franco as Saul - he does play a damn good comedic role, and Seth Rogen gives us chunky guys hope.
All the supporting actors are from films & shows that generally star each other, so you know they had a damn good giggle making this. Plus, Ed Begley Jr - the eco actor - is hilarious as a foul-mouthed father trying to keep his daughter away from Seth Rogen (to be fair, if I had kids I'd keep them away, I've seen Zack & Miri Make a Porno).
Like people pretending their thumb is a penis? Like people getting shot & still carrying on in a semi-lucid state? Like weed? Then you would enjoy this film. The dialogue is great & the violence is almost slapstick. Theres a car chase & some damge to someones nutsack (not through getting kicked in the balls tho) so that made it for me. It just needed boobs. Where's Christina Ricci these days?
So the tally so far for the 2nd week is 10 films viewed. I have 3 days left this week to watch 9 more films. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
Thursday, 12 January 2012
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 10
What did I accomplish during Day 10 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
10th January 2012 - THE ROCK
Another day, another Nicolas Cage film. To be fair, this could have starred Elmo from Sesame Street and I still would have watched it. I have a thing for Alcatraz. Have had since I saw David Copperfield escape from it in the late 80s (back when he was on tv and wasn't a sex pest).
The plot of this story is some wackjob general steals the worst chemical weapon known to man (from america, not the middle east - why didn't they check those places out for WMD's?), put them in rockets & fire them against americans. Why? Because they can. Except they won't. Cos the general is a softy at heart.
Who do the americans send in to get the americans? James Bond of course. For some reason he was stuck in Alcatraz - must have been in a James Bond novel, can't recall him there in any films, unless it was a deleted scene in Octopussy.... They also sent Nicolas Coppoloa, cos they owed his dad a favour. To be fair, Cage doesn't ham it up in this film, he doesn't have to when working next to the pig (AKA full ham, AKA Sean Connery).
In the end the good guys win, Connery goes off to make League of Extraordinary Gentlemen & is never seen again in public, while Nicolas Cage marries Michael Jackson's ex & makes Knowing...not sure who got the better deal out of that...
10th January 2012 - RUSH HOUR 2
As is the case with most sequels to successful films, if in doubt do a similar story but in a foreign place. Yeah, that will work, the public will lap it up & pay all their money to see it. Don't believe me? Go through some sequels, the latest being the Hangover 2.
Anyhoo, this film reunties Lee & Carter (AKA Chan & Tucker), & has Carter trying to outscream everyone in the film. I really think this guy wants to be Michael Jackson. Jackie Chan is still Mr Unpronounceable - can I get subtitles on this? Fair play to him for his karate moves but surely he would have picked up a better use of Enrish by now?
So the plot has these going after triads who are counterfeiting money that burns red when set on fire. Seriously. Read that again. Set on fire. How many people will think hmmm, I may have a fake bill, yet everyone says it looks good, I know - I'll burn the bastard. Wait, it has a red tinge. It must have been fake, yet everyone says it was fine...damn, I could have got away with it!
This film is sub-par, not as good as the original, though it does involve a "cameo" from Don Cheadle doing another of his crimes against film. Remember, his first crime was that awful English Cockney accent in Oceans Eleven. His latest one is pretending to be chinese. A black man pretending to be chinese. Damn, get the brother some fried chicken!!!!!!
So the tally for the second week so far is 7 films viewed. I have 4 days left this week to watch 12 more films. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
10th January 2012 - THE ROCK
Another day, another Nicolas Cage film. To be fair, this could have starred Elmo from Sesame Street and I still would have watched it. I have a thing for Alcatraz. Have had since I saw David Copperfield escape from it in the late 80s (back when he was on tv and wasn't a sex pest).
The plot of this story is some wackjob general steals the worst chemical weapon known to man (from america, not the middle east - why didn't they check those places out for WMD's?), put them in rockets & fire them against americans. Why? Because they can. Except they won't. Cos the general is a softy at heart.
Who do the americans send in to get the americans? James Bond of course. For some reason he was stuck in Alcatraz - must have been in a James Bond novel, can't recall him there in any films, unless it was a deleted scene in Octopussy.... They also sent Nicolas Coppoloa, cos they owed his dad a favour. To be fair, Cage doesn't ham it up in this film, he doesn't have to when working next to the pig (AKA full ham, AKA Sean Connery).
In the end the good guys win, Connery goes off to make League of Extraordinary Gentlemen & is never seen again in public, while Nicolas Cage marries Michael Jackson's ex & makes Knowing...not sure who got the better deal out of that...
10th January 2012 - RUSH HOUR 2
As is the case with most sequels to successful films, if in doubt do a similar story but in a foreign place. Yeah, that will work, the public will lap it up & pay all their money to see it. Don't believe me? Go through some sequels, the latest being the Hangover 2.
Anyhoo, this film reunties Lee & Carter (AKA Chan & Tucker), & has Carter trying to outscream everyone in the film. I really think this guy wants to be Michael Jackson. Jackie Chan is still Mr Unpronounceable - can I get subtitles on this? Fair play to him for his karate moves but surely he would have picked up a better use of Enrish by now?
So the plot has these going after triads who are counterfeiting money that burns red when set on fire. Seriously. Read that again. Set on fire. How many people will think hmmm, I may have a fake bill, yet everyone says it looks good, I know - I'll burn the bastard. Wait, it has a red tinge. It must have been fake, yet everyone says it was fine...damn, I could have got away with it!
This film is sub-par, not as good as the original, though it does involve a "cameo" from Don Cheadle doing another of his crimes against film. Remember, his first crime was that awful English Cockney accent in Oceans Eleven. His latest one is pretending to be chinese. A black man pretending to be chinese. Damn, get the brother some fried chicken!!!!!!
So the tally for the second week so far is 7 films viewed. I have 4 days left this week to watch 12 more films. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 9
What did I accomplish during Day 9 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
9th January 2012 - THE GOLDEN CHILD
This was Eddie Murphy in his prime, coming just after Beverly Hills Cop blew the box office away. Does this film work? Lets look at the checklist: lead actor providing funny wisecracks? Check. Lead actress getting her kit off? Almost, bra & pants left on, but will give it a check for now. A brit as the villain (cos we do play them well)? Check. Use of swear words that are no longer used in film? Check. It has a midget in it too. Well, its a kid, but thats really just a small adult so I'll take that.
This film though has 2 things going for it though. 1) The Demon looks damn good (Phil Tippett was in charge - he did the Rancor in Return of the Jedi) & scary to young kids. 2) The band Ratt actually became famous for the use of their song Bodytalk in the film. Forget Round & Round (their other hit), they were the band that Eddie Murphy made.
9th January 2012 - COLLATERAL
I have actually owned this film for a number of years but can't believe that I've never actually watched it. In fact, last night I watched my housemates copy whilst I was eating my dinner. First impression of this film? I never knew Philip Schofield could act as well as that - he's come a long way from gordon the gopher to professional hitman in his time...
As with Heat, Michael Mann has done it again. A pure awesome story that shows Tom Cruise can, on the odd occasion, act. Granted, he was much funnier as Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder, but this isn't a comedy (I just like seeing celebrity douches dressed in fat suits. Apart from Martin Lawrence. He the bomb yo).
I've sat through the band Wicked Wisdom. If you don't know them they're Jada Pinkett-Smith's band. They were at Download 2006. They were shit. They were only cheered cos Big Willy Style was getting jiggy with it on stage. That was 30 minutes of my life I won't ever get bad. How does this relate to Collateral I hear you ask. Well, I sat through shit with Jada Pinkett-Smith previously, but in this film she is cute. Kinda hot. She has a mahusive head but I still would. And thats a mark of a good film.
9th January 2012 - NATIONAL TREASURE
Can't beat a bit of Disney right? Granted its not animated but I love the treasure hunt feel of this film, especially with Nicolas-all I can do is ham the screen up I really should play Porky the Pig-Cage in the lead role.
The story relates to treasure being moved around following the Crusades & the Masons putting ciphers & maps on the back of the Declaration of Independence. Its a smart move. I once wrote a film like this. it involved finding a map hidden within a map, which itself was hidden in a map on a map. I called it wheres the map? It was going to star Adam Sandler til I got bored & turned it into the script for Super Squirters 23.
And for the second film today, you have a brit (Sean Bean) as the baddy. Sheffield accents dont really make us look scary though.
So, the tally for the 2nd week is now 5 films viewed. I have 5 days left this week in which to watch 14 more films. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
9th January 2012 - THE GOLDEN CHILD
This was Eddie Murphy in his prime, coming just after Beverly Hills Cop blew the box office away. Does this film work? Lets look at the checklist: lead actor providing funny wisecracks? Check. Lead actress getting her kit off? Almost, bra & pants left on, but will give it a check for now. A brit as the villain (cos we do play them well)? Check. Use of swear words that are no longer used in film? Check. It has a midget in it too. Well, its a kid, but thats really just a small adult so I'll take that.
This film though has 2 things going for it though. 1) The Demon looks damn good (Phil Tippett was in charge - he did the Rancor in Return of the Jedi) & scary to young kids. 2) The band Ratt actually became famous for the use of their song Bodytalk in the film. Forget Round & Round (their other hit), they were the band that Eddie Murphy made.
9th January 2012 - COLLATERAL
I have actually owned this film for a number of years but can't believe that I've never actually watched it. In fact, last night I watched my housemates copy whilst I was eating my dinner. First impression of this film? I never knew Philip Schofield could act as well as that - he's come a long way from gordon the gopher to professional hitman in his time...
As with Heat, Michael Mann has done it again. A pure awesome story that shows Tom Cruise can, on the odd occasion, act. Granted, he was much funnier as Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder, but this isn't a comedy (I just like seeing celebrity douches dressed in fat suits. Apart from Martin Lawrence. He the bomb yo).
I've sat through the band Wicked Wisdom. If you don't know them they're Jada Pinkett-Smith's band. They were at Download 2006. They were shit. They were only cheered cos Big Willy Style was getting jiggy with it on stage. That was 30 minutes of my life I won't ever get bad. How does this relate to Collateral I hear you ask. Well, I sat through shit with Jada Pinkett-Smith previously, but in this film she is cute. Kinda hot. She has a mahusive head but I still would. And thats a mark of a good film.
9th January 2012 - NATIONAL TREASURE
Can't beat a bit of Disney right? Granted its not animated but I love the treasure hunt feel of this film, especially with Nicolas-all I can do is ham the screen up I really should play Porky the Pig-Cage in the lead role.
The story relates to treasure being moved around following the Crusades & the Masons putting ciphers & maps on the back of the Declaration of Independence. Its a smart move. I once wrote a film like this. it involved finding a map hidden within a map, which itself was hidden in a map on a map. I called it wheres the map? It was going to star Adam Sandler til I got bored & turned it into the script for Super Squirters 23.
And for the second film today, you have a brit (Sean Bean) as the baddy. Sheffield accents dont really make us look scary though.
So, the tally for the 2nd week is now 5 films viewed. I have 5 days left this week in which to watch 14 more films. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
Monday, 9 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 8
So week one has been completed (check out my blog http://jaythegame.blogspot.com/2012/01/2012-1000-film-challenge-week-1.html for a review of whats been watched up until Day 8) and the second week has begun.
What have I watched so far? Let me tell you...
8th January 2012 - TRADING PLACES
What can you say about this film apart from that it's awesome, and that Jamie Lee Curtis has a damn good rack! Dan Akyroyd was great as a smarmy snob turned drunk, whilst Eddie Murphy - in his prime in the mid 80s - was great as a bum who became rich, with the 2 scheming to get the rich stockbrokers who pawned them off against each other to lose all their money. Akyroryd can do snobby & drunk well, whilst Murphy is just funny in general.
Did I mention that Jamie Lee Curtis gets her tits out in this film? She lived through all those horror films just to pop those bad boys out in a 1980s comedy? I'm all for that, am just glad she didn't get her cock out...
8th January 2012 - WEEKEND AT BERNIES 2
Don't hate me. I like the Weekend at Bernies films. Especially this one. Who doesnt like seeing a dancing corpse get harpooned through the head? This has a stupid plot about finding buried treasure on a tropical island. Back in the day I thought that was a great story. Now, not so much. Yet some crazy dead white dude gets harpooned in the head and kicked in the nuts! How is that not great cinema?
Day 8 is out, 17 films required to average out this new week. Will I do it? Read my blogs to find out!
What have I watched so far? Let me tell you...
8th January 2012 - TRADING PLACES
What can you say about this film apart from that it's awesome, and that Jamie Lee Curtis has a damn good rack! Dan Akyroyd was great as a smarmy snob turned drunk, whilst Eddie Murphy - in his prime in the mid 80s - was great as a bum who became rich, with the 2 scheming to get the rich stockbrokers who pawned them off against each other to lose all their money. Akyroryd can do snobby & drunk well, whilst Murphy is just funny in general.
Did I mention that Jamie Lee Curtis gets her tits out in this film? She lived through all those horror films just to pop those bad boys out in a 1980s comedy? I'm all for that, am just glad she didn't get her cock out...
8th January 2012 - WEEKEND AT BERNIES 2
Don't hate me. I like the Weekend at Bernies films. Especially this one. Who doesnt like seeing a dancing corpse get harpooned through the head? This has a stupid plot about finding buried treasure on a tropical island. Back in the day I thought that was a great story. Now, not so much. Yet some crazy dead white dude gets harpooned in the head and kicked in the nuts! How is that not great cinema?
Day 8 is out, 17 films required to average out this new week. Will I do it? Read my blogs to find out!
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Week 1
So, we're one week into 2012 and I'm one week into my 1000 Film Challenge. A friend of mine advised that I have to average a total of 19 films a week, and this first week (Sunday the 1st to Saturday the 7th January) came with a grand total of 21 films watched.
For those that are following my blog, hopefully you will have noted my irreverant take on each of the films I watched, so I won't detail them here (they are available to view on this blog at any time).
In order to keep my blogs down to just the films I watch on a particular day, upon completion of a week I will list the films seen during it, whilst providing my daily take on the films I have watched. This will also mean that, once a month, I will list the entirety of the films watched during that period.
Lets start off with week 1!
WEEK ONE - 1st January to 7th January 2012
The Animal
Apollo 18
Blades of Glory
Cedar Rapids
Coming to America
Eraser
Fantastic Four
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Final Destination 5
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Hostel 3
House on Haunted Hill
Kingpin
The Last Exorcism
Lost In Translation
The Money Pit
Scott Pilgrim vs the World
Scream 4
Stir Crazy
Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny
Under Siege
Week one provided 21 films for my viewing pleasure. As week 2 begins, I'm left with just 979 films to see...keep reading this blog to see how I do!
For those that are following my blog, hopefully you will have noted my irreverant take on each of the films I watched, so I won't detail them here (they are available to view on this blog at any time).
In order to keep my blogs down to just the films I watch on a particular day, upon completion of a week I will list the films seen during it, whilst providing my daily take on the films I have watched. This will also mean that, once a month, I will list the entirety of the films watched during that period.
Lets start off with week 1!
WEEK ONE - 1st January to 7th January 2012
The Animal
Apollo 18
Blades of Glory
Cedar Rapids
Coming to America
Eraser
Fantastic Four
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Final Destination 5
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Hostel 3
House on Haunted Hill
Kingpin
The Last Exorcism
Lost In Translation
The Money Pit
Scott Pilgrim vs the World
Scream 4
Stir Crazy
Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny
Under Siege
Week one provided 21 films for my viewing pleasure. As week 2 begins, I'm left with just 979 films to see...keep reading this blog to see how I do!
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 7
Continuing on with my challenge, the first week has been completed and I needed to average 19 films. Did I do it? Read on my fellow bloghounds!
Films seen prior to the weekend:
Kingpin
The Money Pit
Coming to America
Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny
Apollo 18
Cedar Rapids
Blades of Glory
The Animal
Under Siege
Stir Crazy
Scream 4
House on Haunted Hill
Eraser
Hostel 3
Lost in Translation
Scott Pilgrim vs the World
So, 16 films seen prior to Saturday, leaving me with 3 films to watch Saturday in order to complete the 19 film average. Was it done? Of course it was! Here's what went down Saturday:
7th January 2012 - FANTASTIC FOUR
I've seen the unreleased Fantastic Four film (with the old guy from Police Academy) & it was pure drivel. How would this compare? Very well. For a comic book movie the effects were good, the story was good & Chris Evans was hilarious as Johnny Storm (Jessica Alba was as hot as always). Even Michael Chilkis didn't look like a scrotum for most of the film.
This was one set of comic book characters that I do remember as a kid (along with the Harlem Globetrotters - do they have a movie coming out at all?) so watching them take on Von Doom was awesome.
This was a film you can just switch your brain off to & look at the pretty colours. Sometimes I think I may be a child (or manchild as one of my workmates calls me) who pays little attention to the stuff on screen other than the bright lights.
7th January 2012 - FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER
So we get round to the sequel, immediately after watching the first film. This is almost a carbon copy of the first film, except with a surfer and & planet eating monster (who you never really see except for some plumes of smoke). Michael Chilkis does change from the Thing back into Ben Grimm (aka detective Scrotum), & Chris Evans does become the Thing - he makes it work too without throwing in the Christian Bale voice (aka the Batman gravelly throat vocal).
The best part of this film? Trying to see a cameltoe when Jessica Alba goes up in flame. Look closely, you may see it. I have, and I also found the cameltoe on one of Little Mix in the X-Factor final this year. Yes, I know, I have skills.
7th January 2012 - FINAL DESTINATION 5
I'm not going to lie. I like the Final Destination series. Granted, like Saw did, the franchise did away with the smartness of the 1st film & replaced it with people you dont care about who died in much more gory manners. With that in mind, I wasn't holding much hope for the 5th film, though word of mouth about it was very good.
The premonition is all about a bridge collapsing, and people dying horrificly. I hated most of the people in the film & wanted them all to die, but not Tony Todd, who was making his return following the 2nd film. Die they did, but in ways that actually had me squirming - the laser eye part was something I couldn't handle & had to look away, as was the acupuncture part.
Anyways, aside from some very dodgy acting, the story ended up being (SPOILER ALERT) a prequel to the first Final Destination film, witht he survivors ending up on the plane that explodes at the start of the first film. Ever wanted to see a man flattened by an airplane? Then watch this film. It is good. Trust me.
7th January 2012 - HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 2
Having seen each & every Potter film so far, I was looking forward to the end of this "saga". Having loved the Chris Columbus style of the first couple of films - and loving the darkness of Prisoner of Azkaban - I was bored stiffless watching the Half Blood Prince & Deathly Hallows Part 1 (in which nothing happened).
I have to say I was quite surprised with the end of the Potter saga, it was full of action & that Hermione is looking hot! But it bugs me that Voldermort has no nose. He must be a bit peeved. He had a nose in the 1st Harry Potter film, I swear. Oh well, it had kinda a happy ending, and most of the supporting cast died, which is usually unheard of in a kids film.
I can't believe that it was over ten years ago that I went to the preview showing of the Philosophers Stone, and that I actually saw another of them at the cinema (Goblet of Fire) but it was a slow day in Australia then. I think I can actually hear kids crying at no more Potter films - surely they're old enough to appreciate the original Star Wars Trilogy now?
7th January 2012 - THE LAST EXORCISM
I put this on at just gone 11pm, making this the last film of the 1st week. This was the tale of a reverend from Baton Rouge Louisiana who was also an exorcist, but not really, as he faked everything. He would go across the country to "exorcise" demons from troubled children & livestock with the aid of a whole host of special effects, and he had roped in a film crew to document the fakeness just before he retired.
As you can imagine, the "exorcism" didnt work as the child in question (who actually looked like Michael Cera (from Scott Pilgrim) in a dress) was actually possessed by a demon & the reverend couldnt exorcise a fart. Strange things start happening, well, I say strange. I mean boring. Oh look the childs walking around. Oh look she's walking some more. Where is she? Oh she's over there walking around. Aside from attempting to drown a childs doll & slicing her deliverance brother in the face with a knife, she's about as scary as my nan sleeping.
What the flip was the point of this film? It didnt even build anything up during it, and its as if the director just said, make the camera as shaky as possible! Add to that the ending (SPOILER ALERT) which involved the whole community aborting a demon baby from the child & sacrificing it to fire, I wondered just when I would be able to get the last 90 mins of my life back. I would have rather watched PS I Love You than this drivel.
So week one is complete, with 21 films viewed. Time to kick into week 2, so another blog will follow!
Films seen prior to the weekend:
Kingpin
The Money Pit
Coming to America
Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny
Apollo 18
Cedar Rapids
Blades of Glory
The Animal
Under Siege
Stir Crazy
Scream 4
House on Haunted Hill
Eraser
Hostel 3
Lost in Translation
Scott Pilgrim vs the World
So, 16 films seen prior to Saturday, leaving me with 3 films to watch Saturday in order to complete the 19 film average. Was it done? Of course it was! Here's what went down Saturday:
7th January 2012 - FANTASTIC FOUR
I've seen the unreleased Fantastic Four film (with the old guy from Police Academy) & it was pure drivel. How would this compare? Very well. For a comic book movie the effects were good, the story was good & Chris Evans was hilarious as Johnny Storm (Jessica Alba was as hot as always). Even Michael Chilkis didn't look like a scrotum for most of the film.
This was one set of comic book characters that I do remember as a kid (along with the Harlem Globetrotters - do they have a movie coming out at all?) so watching them take on Von Doom was awesome.
This was a film you can just switch your brain off to & look at the pretty colours. Sometimes I think I may be a child (or manchild as one of my workmates calls me) who pays little attention to the stuff on screen other than the bright lights.
7th January 2012 - FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER
So we get round to the sequel, immediately after watching the first film. This is almost a carbon copy of the first film, except with a surfer and & planet eating monster (who you never really see except for some plumes of smoke). Michael Chilkis does change from the Thing back into Ben Grimm (aka detective Scrotum), & Chris Evans does become the Thing - he makes it work too without throwing in the Christian Bale voice (aka the Batman gravelly throat vocal).
The best part of this film? Trying to see a cameltoe when Jessica Alba goes up in flame. Look closely, you may see it. I have, and I also found the cameltoe on one of Little Mix in the X-Factor final this year. Yes, I know, I have skills.
7th January 2012 - FINAL DESTINATION 5
I'm not going to lie. I like the Final Destination series. Granted, like Saw did, the franchise did away with the smartness of the 1st film & replaced it with people you dont care about who died in much more gory manners. With that in mind, I wasn't holding much hope for the 5th film, though word of mouth about it was very good.
The premonition is all about a bridge collapsing, and people dying horrificly. I hated most of the people in the film & wanted them all to die, but not Tony Todd, who was making his return following the 2nd film. Die they did, but in ways that actually had me squirming - the laser eye part was something I couldn't handle & had to look away, as was the acupuncture part.
Anyways, aside from some very dodgy acting, the story ended up being (SPOILER ALERT) a prequel to the first Final Destination film, witht he survivors ending up on the plane that explodes at the start of the first film. Ever wanted to see a man flattened by an airplane? Then watch this film. It is good. Trust me.
7th January 2012 - HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 2
Having seen each & every Potter film so far, I was looking forward to the end of this "saga". Having loved the Chris Columbus style of the first couple of films - and loving the darkness of Prisoner of Azkaban - I was bored stiffless watching the Half Blood Prince & Deathly Hallows Part 1 (in which nothing happened).
I have to say I was quite surprised with the end of the Potter saga, it was full of action & that Hermione is looking hot! But it bugs me that Voldermort has no nose. He must be a bit peeved. He had a nose in the 1st Harry Potter film, I swear. Oh well, it had kinda a happy ending, and most of the supporting cast died, which is usually unheard of in a kids film.
I can't believe that it was over ten years ago that I went to the preview showing of the Philosophers Stone, and that I actually saw another of them at the cinema (Goblet of Fire) but it was a slow day in Australia then. I think I can actually hear kids crying at no more Potter films - surely they're old enough to appreciate the original Star Wars Trilogy now?
7th January 2012 - THE LAST EXORCISM
I put this on at just gone 11pm, making this the last film of the 1st week. This was the tale of a reverend from Baton Rouge Louisiana who was also an exorcist, but not really, as he faked everything. He would go across the country to "exorcise" demons from troubled children & livestock with the aid of a whole host of special effects, and he had roped in a film crew to document the fakeness just before he retired.
As you can imagine, the "exorcism" didnt work as the child in question (who actually looked like Michael Cera (from Scott Pilgrim) in a dress) was actually possessed by a demon & the reverend couldnt exorcise a fart. Strange things start happening, well, I say strange. I mean boring. Oh look the childs walking around. Oh look she's walking some more. Where is she? Oh she's over there walking around. Aside from attempting to drown a childs doll & slicing her deliverance brother in the face with a knife, she's about as scary as my nan sleeping.
What the flip was the point of this film? It didnt even build anything up during it, and its as if the director just said, make the camera as shaky as possible! Add to that the ending (SPOILER ALERT) which involved the whole community aborting a demon baby from the child & sacrificing it to fire, I wondered just when I would be able to get the last 90 mins of my life back. I would have rather watched PS I Love You than this drivel.
So week one is complete, with 21 films viewed. Time to kick into week 2, so another blog will follow!
Saturday, 7 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 6
Continuing with my challenge, I am now up to 16 films so far in 2012. I need to average 19 a week, and am currently on track with that. So here's the latest update.
Films seen so far include:
Kingpin
The Money Pit
Coming to America
Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny
Apollo 18
Cedar Rapids
Blades of Glory
The Animal
Under Siege
Stir Crazy
Scream 4
House on Haunted Hill
Eraser
Hostel 3
6th January 2012 - LOST IN TRANSLATION
What can be said from this film other than Scarlett Johansson has a fantastic arse & Bill Murray is a comedy genius! Lets face it, this isnt a laugh out loud riot or a slapstick fans dream film, but it is a quirky view of life in Japan as told by a Ghostbuster pretending to be Frank Sinatra with intensity overload! Bill Murrays career is getting much better these days (check out Jim Jarmush's Broken Flowers for another slice of Murray awesomeness) &, as my housemate put it, she could just about tolerate the Johansson in this film.
In my view, any film that starts with a close up of a fantastic boty is sure to win plaudits from me. Plus there were gun shots & boobs so all was good for me - it just missed a good car chase to be a perfect film.
6th January 2012 - SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD
When I saw this a few months back I must admit I wasnt a fan. I figured you had to be a geeky mcgeek to have such a nerdgasm over this film which, whilst I did enjoy the retro gameyness about it, was pretty shit. In the pursuit of this challenge, I did sit down to watch it and was actually pleasantly surprised by it. Granted, it may have been better if I had ever read the comics, but Michael Cera does play the nerd well & Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Ramona reminds me of someone I slept with many years ago & used to have carnal thoughts about - she dressed the same way & had the same persona.
Coming from the director of Spaced, it was always going to include quick shots & retroness, but could I handle a whole 9-120 mins of it? Barely. Sex Bob-Bomb sucked balls - why not make some decent music you indie fuck wannabees!
So, as of the 6th January I'm up to 16 films. Just 984 to go. Plus I've already agreed with my housemates that the last film I watch to end this challenge has to be PS I Love You. Hopefully I'll still be semi-conscious by then...
Films seen so far include:
Kingpin
The Money Pit
Coming to America
Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny
Apollo 18
Cedar Rapids
Blades of Glory
The Animal
Under Siege
Stir Crazy
Scream 4
House on Haunted Hill
Eraser
Hostel 3
6th January 2012 - LOST IN TRANSLATION
What can be said from this film other than Scarlett Johansson has a fantastic arse & Bill Murray is a comedy genius! Lets face it, this isnt a laugh out loud riot or a slapstick fans dream film, but it is a quirky view of life in Japan as told by a Ghostbuster pretending to be Frank Sinatra with intensity overload! Bill Murrays career is getting much better these days (check out Jim Jarmush's Broken Flowers for another slice of Murray awesomeness) &, as my housemate put it, she could just about tolerate the Johansson in this film.
In my view, any film that starts with a close up of a fantastic boty is sure to win plaudits from me. Plus there were gun shots & boobs so all was good for me - it just missed a good car chase to be a perfect film.
6th January 2012 - SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD
When I saw this a few months back I must admit I wasnt a fan. I figured you had to be a geeky mcgeek to have such a nerdgasm over this film which, whilst I did enjoy the retro gameyness about it, was pretty shit. In the pursuit of this challenge, I did sit down to watch it and was actually pleasantly surprised by it. Granted, it may have been better if I had ever read the comics, but Michael Cera does play the nerd well & Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Ramona reminds me of someone I slept with many years ago & used to have carnal thoughts about - she dressed the same way & had the same persona.
Coming from the director of Spaced, it was always going to include quick shots & retroness, but could I handle a whole 9-120 mins of it? Barely. Sex Bob-Bomb sucked balls - why not make some decent music you indie fuck wannabees!
So, as of the 6th January I'm up to 16 films. Just 984 to go. Plus I've already agreed with my housemates that the last film I watch to end this challenge has to be PS I Love You. Hopefully I'll still be semi-conscious by then...
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