Random film review #1

After racking my brain for a topic to blog about, I decided to write about the one thing that I love, and thats films.  Having just moved house I went through all the DVDs that I decided to bring with me.  Since moving, I've managed to watch a grand total of 5 random films, and therefore I have decided to write a random review on those that I watch....so here goes with my first blog!!!!

Film: AIR FORCE ONE
Starring: Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Glenn Close, William H Macy, Dean Stockwell
Synopsis: The President of the USA goes to Moscow and gives a stirring speech outlining the USA's new "Zero-tolerance" policy with respect to terrorism. On the flight home, terrorists take over Air Force One (the President's official plane) and take the passengers (including his wife and daughter) hostage. The terrorists plan to execute one hostage every half-hour unless/until their demands are met. However, the President is a former Medal of Honor winner, so the terrorists may be in for a surprise...

I watched this film on Saturday whilst in the midst of moving everything around in my new room, so my attention may have been diverted from time to time; however I have seen this previously (in fact, I saw this at the cinema upon its release) so I can remember the basic plot & action that followed.

So, Harrison Ford has decided to throw his hat & bullwhip (see what I did there?  Indiana Jones reference 1) into the political ring and somehow became the worlds most easy-going president (based on the comments of his staff).  His stance on non-negotiation with terrorists was pretty impressive, but you could see he was basically just lining himself up for a fall.

As he leaves Moscow we spot Gary Oldman as a Russian journo...if you hadn't seen this film before then you should hopefully guess that he would be the bad guy (us Brits make fantastic villains, especially fantastic eastern-european villains) but his Russian tone is fantastic (just check out the Call of Duty games for his stellar voice acting).  Of course, you can't have a bad guy just start a fight on the President's plane, he has to have the inside help from one of those damn yanks...this provides a bit of back story in that the original journalist crew were all murdered by Gary Oldman (off-screen though, he doesn't want his kids to see just how maniacal he can become) and had their identities stolen by terrorists.  Those damn cheeky terrorists...I can smell a jihad or 2 coming....

Anyways, with some inside help the terrorists take over the plane & Indiana Jones is smuggled into the emergency escape pod (which doesn't resemble the pod the droids escaped in in Star Wars IV: A New Hope (surely the only escape pod design required for all films?  There's a plan Hollywood, utilise it!)) but then he doesnt go he manages to hide & how we laughed...wait, you're saying this isn't a comedy?

Cue Indiana Jones acting like a cross between the undercover Amish cop from Witness & Henry from Regarding Henry (he's got some fight but doesn't look like he knows what he's doing) & trying to take over the plane & get his family back.  Then we get a bit more back story with a bad guy in a prison who Gary Oldman wants to be released (& who never gets to speak & has a total of about 10 minutes screen time altogether - plus, calling him General Radic & having his followers called Radicals was a stroke of genius - am I watching a film or a wrestling show here?), & all of a sudden Dean Stockwell turns up...this left me thinking where the flip is Scott Bakula?  All of a sudden I wondered if I missed the part where Scott quantum leaped into Harrison Ford....

Wait, Gary Oldman mentioned Glenn Closes sweaty blouse - surely if you're a terrorist with the entire American Army awaiting every word you would choose something a bit more perverted then sweaty a blouse?  Besides which, the word blouse should only be used after the words "that's a smashing" (thats my nod to Bottom there).

 

Oh, I forgot to mention the stunning airplane refuel section...maybe thats because it wasn't that stunning to begin with, but merely acted as a plot point to show how much "danger" the crew of Air Force One were actually in.  Plus William H Macy is trying to help people out.  Not the Rock.  Not Indiana Jones.  Not Han Solo.  Not even Stone Cold or John Cena.  But William H Macy.  Thats William H Macy, AKA the Shoveller.  I'd understand if he had a spade in his hands but not dressed up like some air force zoom.

So, Indiana/Han/Amish Undercover Cop/President of the USA manages to defeat a few British-terrorists-disguised-as-Russians only for Gary Oldman (AKA Mozart) threatening to throw the Presidents family off the plane (who opens the plane up at 15,000 feet & keeps it open to allow Gary Oldman to do this?  Oh wait, Harrison Ford did.  He may be the president but he's not that smart...).  Anyways, as this is a USA! USA! USA! USA! film, the bad guy has to die in a horrible fashion - in this case having his neck broken whilst being parachuted down into a nice comfy field in Russia alongside all the other terrorists.  In a way its a lovely ending for them, as they get to prance & frolic in heaven/hell with each other...

This leads me to the end of this random review, but before I give my closing comments, I would like to add that William H Macy dies (without putting up a fight), whilst the traitor american dies when the plane crashes into the sea, all the while with him standing in the doorway having not once fallen over despite the plane nose diving into the water...ahh, Hollywood, I love how reality means nothing these days...  All thats left is Indiana Jones dangling from a wire at the end of a jumbo jet...I would like to refer back to my earlier comment of a nothing-reality at this point...

All in all, I actually enjoyed this film.  Gary Oldman plays a mean Russian, whilst Indiana Jones tries not to be the same character he's played for almost everyone of his films.  I'm English, we're a nation of triers, so I was backing him most of the way.  Glenn Close tried to look quite emotional, but all I remember about her is her sweaty blouse.  And where the hell is Scott Bakula?  The credits have started rolling but there's still no sign of him....

To rate this film (in terms of my own enjoyment) I would supply this as a Saturday/Sunday arvo film, usually shown on BBC 2 or Sky Action around about the 4:30pm mark.  That sounds about right, as I really wouldn't stay up late to watch this (and I don't have to, as I own the DVD).  If you want me to give this a score out of a pre-determined number pattern, then I choose 73 out of 112.  I love the randomness of that score, but I also love sweaty blouses & awesome British villains...

I doubt this review will help you in any way, but if you have any comments please do not hesitate to let me know.  I can't take criticism though, so expect a jihad coming your way (or at the very least William H Macy looking like a nobber).

Stay tuned for my next Random film review...which will be Dead Man's Shoes...  Thanks for listening!