What did I accomplish during Day 13 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
13th January 2012 - SHARKTOPUS
Come on, how is this not the greatest film ever made? A shark with tentacles? Its a fantasy film fans dream, right? Unfortunately, its not. The effects are worse than B-Movie quality, & the acting & dialogue are terrible. Remember Eric Roberts? He used to be in some above average films right? Not anymore. He's getting upstaged by a computer fucking shark!
To be fair though, I actually enjoyed it. I'm usually a fan of bad films (some say Rocky 4 is awful & thats my favourite film ever!) & this is actually switch-your-brain off viewing. Thankfully this is from the same people that brought you Megashark vs Giant Octopus, Dinoshark & Mega Python vs Gatoroid. All of which I own. Or at least think I do.
Forget being scared of sharks when you go into the sea. Beware of any dodgy looking effected computer interpretations of sharks. With tentacles. And the ability to squirt ink at you. Thats the most unfortunate thing with this film, not one person gets sprayed in the face in a comedic fashion. Come on Hollywood, give us what we want!!!!!
13th January 2012 - CONTAGION
First off, can I just give a disclaimer on this. There will be no spoiler alerts. In fact there won't be anything. Just like this film. If you want to watch a film where nothing happens after the first 10 minutes then this is for you. If you want to know the inner workings of the CDC (Central Disease Centre) then watch this.
Basically, some bat fucked a pig & some chef passed the regurgitated guts around, causing Gwyneth Paltrow to provide some of the best acting I've ever seen since Shallow Hal. Matt Damon ends up walking around for a bit. Thats pretty much it. Why the hell Jude Law has to put on the worst Australian accent ever to play a conspiracy theorist, I shall never know. Where's Paul Hogan when you need him? Crocodile Dundee would have at least play knifey knife with some diseased person.
Stay clear on this film, this piece of - as my housemate called it - propoganda. And never touch your face or cough. You may be forced to watch this drivel if you do.
So the tally so far for the week in 15 films viewed. With just 1 day left this week I have 4 films to watch to keep up with my required average. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
Saturday, 14 January 2012
Friday, 13 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 12
What did I accomplish during Day 12 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
12th January 2012 - THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY
There is indeed. She's hot and puts spunk in her hair. Thats my ideal kind of woman! This film began the trend of gross-out comedies by the Farrelly Brothers. This film also made Ben Stiller a comedy star. You think Zoolander & the Focker family films would have happened without him getting his balls trapped in his zip. Granted, for every man that is the nightmare we face when zipping up after a widdle. You think you women have it bad?
Matt Dillon even flexes his comedy chops in this, although we do have to put up with a bad american accent from Lee Evans who, lets face it, is just trying to be Norman Wisdom (as he always does in films).
What else does this film have? How about a load of mentally-challegened people punching Matt Dillon in the face, floppy old woman boobs, a crazy puppy, a hive-covered shoe fetishist, and the immortal words FRANK & BEANS!!!! How could you not appreciate such a film that gives so much? I have an idea on how they could make this a bit better - 5 second abs...trust me, it can work!
12th January 2012 - FINAL DESTINATION
Last week I managed to watch the 5th (and possibly final) Final Destination film. The ending of it fit neatly into the 1st film which, I can't believe, I don't actually own. So I brought it and watched it last night. It has lasted the passage of time & is actually still as good & smart as I remember it. Granted, the series went the SAW way & became ultra-gory, but the 5th film was a good nod back to the 1st.
Basically, this kid has visions his plane is going to explode. Yet he can't find out the lottery numbers for the week, or what colour underwear the hot blonde is wearing? Basically he gets off the plane (with others) and guess what - plane go boom. Then survivors start dying in the order they would have on the plane. Its a smart story but when the Candyman is involved you know that troubles just round the corner.
So people die but there are signs that can save them - this was conspicuously absent from the 3rd, 4th & 5th films, which hampered them for me. I like the idea of using signs. I like it so much I created ones myself. On card with felt-tip pens saying YOU GONNA DIE BIATCH! It makes me able to get through the day with a sense of self-gratification.
12th January 2012 - SHALLOW HAL
Shallow Hal wants a gal, does he? He just wants to boink Gwyneth Paltrow. I must admit that I do share an affinity with Hal, in that I see people differently to how they look. Thats a subtle way of me saying I've been with my fair share of larger ladies, and I find that they do enjoy the bedroom antics a lot more than others. Maybe it's because I cover my body with cake? Lol I joke! I just tend not to discriminate with women, thats why they call me Doctor Love.
In this film, Jack Black manages to see peoples inner beauty other than how they look on the outside. Fair play, I do the same. I'm more about personality than anything else. If a person can keep me laughing and entertained then I will ensure that they have my babies later on in life! Just need to find that special someone...I think its high time that I get snapped off the market by some lucky lady, I've got loads going for me...kinda...
This film also involves Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit - come on, tell me you haven't rubbed one out to that image. Or is it just me? I'm a bad man, a bad bad man...
So the tally so far for the week is 13 films viewed. I have 2 days left this week to watch 6 more films. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
12th January 2012 - THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY
There is indeed. She's hot and puts spunk in her hair. Thats my ideal kind of woman! This film began the trend of gross-out comedies by the Farrelly Brothers. This film also made Ben Stiller a comedy star. You think Zoolander & the Focker family films would have happened without him getting his balls trapped in his zip. Granted, for every man that is the nightmare we face when zipping up after a widdle. You think you women have it bad?
Matt Dillon even flexes his comedy chops in this, although we do have to put up with a bad american accent from Lee Evans who, lets face it, is just trying to be Norman Wisdom (as he always does in films).
What else does this film have? How about a load of mentally-challegened people punching Matt Dillon in the face, floppy old woman boobs, a crazy puppy, a hive-covered shoe fetishist, and the immortal words FRANK & BEANS!!!! How could you not appreciate such a film that gives so much? I have an idea on how they could make this a bit better - 5 second abs...trust me, it can work!
12th January 2012 - FINAL DESTINATION
Last week I managed to watch the 5th (and possibly final) Final Destination film. The ending of it fit neatly into the 1st film which, I can't believe, I don't actually own. So I brought it and watched it last night. It has lasted the passage of time & is actually still as good & smart as I remember it. Granted, the series went the SAW way & became ultra-gory, but the 5th film was a good nod back to the 1st.
Basically, this kid has visions his plane is going to explode. Yet he can't find out the lottery numbers for the week, or what colour underwear the hot blonde is wearing? Basically he gets off the plane (with others) and guess what - plane go boom. Then survivors start dying in the order they would have on the plane. Its a smart story but when the Candyman is involved you know that troubles just round the corner.
So people die but there are signs that can save them - this was conspicuously absent from the 3rd, 4th & 5th films, which hampered them for me. I like the idea of using signs. I like it so much I created ones myself. On card with felt-tip pens saying YOU GONNA DIE BIATCH! It makes me able to get through the day with a sense of self-gratification.
12th January 2012 - SHALLOW HAL
Shallow Hal wants a gal, does he? He just wants to boink Gwyneth Paltrow. I must admit that I do share an affinity with Hal, in that I see people differently to how they look. Thats a subtle way of me saying I've been with my fair share of larger ladies, and I find that they do enjoy the bedroom antics a lot more than others. Maybe it's because I cover my body with cake? Lol I joke! I just tend not to discriminate with women, thats why they call me Doctor Love.
In this film, Jack Black manages to see peoples inner beauty other than how they look on the outside. Fair play, I do the same. I'm more about personality than anything else. If a person can keep me laughing and entertained then I will ensure that they have my babies later on in life! Just need to find that special someone...I think its high time that I get snapped off the market by some lucky lady, I've got loads going for me...kinda...
This film also involves Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit - come on, tell me you haven't rubbed one out to that image. Or is it just me? I'm a bad man, a bad bad man...
So the tally so far for the week is 13 films viewed. I have 2 days left this week to watch 6 more films. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
Thursday, 12 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 11
What did I accomplish during Day 11 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
11th January 2012 - RUSH HOUR 3
Yesterday I watched Rush Hour 2. Granted its an okay film but this isnt. It tries to be the first Rush Hour, but fails. You wonder why Chris Tucker hasn't had a job since...actually, you don't need to. Its painfully obvious. He is shit. Simples.
You know why I hated this film? Because its trying to be something its not - don't believe me, check out the scene at the karate dojo & tell me its not trying to copy Austin Powers! The first & 2nd Rush Hour films were unique as they involved 2 different lifestyles coming together to solve a crime. In the first its the chinese in LA, whilst its reversed in the 2nd film. In Rush Hour 3 there's nothing unique, but as its a sequel its obviously set in a foreign place, namely garlic munching Paris.
Whilst I sat and watched this, I think I spent around 60 minutes thinking about stabbing myself in the head with a fork, whilst shouting WHY GOD, WHY? I DISLIKE THIS FILM BUT CANT STOP WATCHING IT. SMITE ME OH SMITEY SMITER!!! The plot involves the ambassador from the first film getting shot & Chris Tucker trying not to be gay & sex up the ambassadors daughter. Who was only ten in 2001. Yet at 17 she's fair game. You have to admire Hollywood for just keeping shy of the paedo range...
God forbid them if they decide to make Rush Hour 4...yet the completist in me will still buy it to have all 4 films. I must have a problem.
11th January 2012 - CURSED
Oh Wes Craven. What happened to you? You made some damn good horror films in the 70s & 80s, then redefined the slasher genre in the 90s with the Scream franchise. He even moved away from horror with the film Red Eye (which was very good indeed as a tense thriller). Then he made this turgid pile of dog crap.
Really? A teen werewolf movie? Aside from American Werewolf in London (not Paris, those CG motherfuckers should be denied their entry into the world of film), The Howling and Dog Soldiers, werewolf films suck major arse. Granted Christina Ricci & her wobbly boobies kept me watching, but the fake michael cera (Jesse Einsberg) as a geek turned gay icon wrestler, and Joshua Jackson as...well, every character he's ever played in his life...really didn't get my attention.
Unfortunately, the story of brother, sister & their dog becoming werewolves in Hollywood could have been better. First off, why the feck did Bowling for Soup get star billing? Not everyone died - which I was hoping. And having lived in Hollywood I knew the locations in the film (other than Hollywood Boulevard) were actually filmed in San Fernando Valley or the Frisco Bay. You can't beat me Wes, I'm a smart motherfucking werewolf!
If you have seen the 3 named werewolf films above but are curious, please watch an episode of the X-Files where the native americans are getting slaughtered by a wolf. Thats hardcore badass & it runs 40 minutes less than this pile of stinking cesspit puke! Plus points only include Christina Ricci's boobs, but they get marked down for staying covered up. Shame on you Wes!!!!!
11th January 2012 - PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
People seem to dislike this film. I have no idea why. I really enjoy it, especially James "Harry Osbourne" Franco as Saul - he does play a damn good comedic role, and Seth Rogen gives us chunky guys hope.
All the supporting actors are from films & shows that generally star each other, so you know they had a damn good giggle making this. Plus, Ed Begley Jr - the eco actor - is hilarious as a foul-mouthed father trying to keep his daughter away from Seth Rogen (to be fair, if I had kids I'd keep them away, I've seen Zack & Miri Make a Porno).
Like people pretending their thumb is a penis? Like people getting shot & still carrying on in a semi-lucid state? Like weed? Then you would enjoy this film. The dialogue is great & the violence is almost slapstick. Theres a car chase & some damge to someones nutsack (not through getting kicked in the balls tho) so that made it for me. It just needed boobs. Where's Christina Ricci these days?
So the tally so far for the 2nd week is 10 films viewed. I have 3 days left this week to watch 9 more films. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
11th January 2012 - RUSH HOUR 3
Yesterday I watched Rush Hour 2. Granted its an okay film but this isnt. It tries to be the first Rush Hour, but fails. You wonder why Chris Tucker hasn't had a job since...actually, you don't need to. Its painfully obvious. He is shit. Simples.
You know why I hated this film? Because its trying to be something its not - don't believe me, check out the scene at the karate dojo & tell me its not trying to copy Austin Powers! The first & 2nd Rush Hour films were unique as they involved 2 different lifestyles coming together to solve a crime. In the first its the chinese in LA, whilst its reversed in the 2nd film. In Rush Hour 3 there's nothing unique, but as its a sequel its obviously set in a foreign place, namely garlic munching Paris.
Whilst I sat and watched this, I think I spent around 60 minutes thinking about stabbing myself in the head with a fork, whilst shouting WHY GOD, WHY? I DISLIKE THIS FILM BUT CANT STOP WATCHING IT. SMITE ME OH SMITEY SMITER!!! The plot involves the ambassador from the first film getting shot & Chris Tucker trying not to be gay & sex up the ambassadors daughter. Who was only ten in 2001. Yet at 17 she's fair game. You have to admire Hollywood for just keeping shy of the paedo range...
God forbid them if they decide to make Rush Hour 4...yet the completist in me will still buy it to have all 4 films. I must have a problem.
11th January 2012 - CURSED
Oh Wes Craven. What happened to you? You made some damn good horror films in the 70s & 80s, then redefined the slasher genre in the 90s with the Scream franchise. He even moved away from horror with the film Red Eye (which was very good indeed as a tense thriller). Then he made this turgid pile of dog crap.
Really? A teen werewolf movie? Aside from American Werewolf in London (not Paris, those CG motherfuckers should be denied their entry into the world of film), The Howling and Dog Soldiers, werewolf films suck major arse. Granted Christina Ricci & her wobbly boobies kept me watching, but the fake michael cera (Jesse Einsberg) as a geek turned gay icon wrestler, and Joshua Jackson as...well, every character he's ever played in his life...really didn't get my attention.
Unfortunately, the story of brother, sister & their dog becoming werewolves in Hollywood could have been better. First off, why the feck did Bowling for Soup get star billing? Not everyone died - which I was hoping. And having lived in Hollywood I knew the locations in the film (other than Hollywood Boulevard) were actually filmed in San Fernando Valley or the Frisco Bay. You can't beat me Wes, I'm a smart motherfucking werewolf!
If you have seen the 3 named werewolf films above but are curious, please watch an episode of the X-Files where the native americans are getting slaughtered by a wolf. Thats hardcore badass & it runs 40 minutes less than this pile of stinking cesspit puke! Plus points only include Christina Ricci's boobs, but they get marked down for staying covered up. Shame on you Wes!!!!!
11th January 2012 - PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
People seem to dislike this film. I have no idea why. I really enjoy it, especially James "Harry Osbourne" Franco as Saul - he does play a damn good comedic role, and Seth Rogen gives us chunky guys hope.
All the supporting actors are from films & shows that generally star each other, so you know they had a damn good giggle making this. Plus, Ed Begley Jr - the eco actor - is hilarious as a foul-mouthed father trying to keep his daughter away from Seth Rogen (to be fair, if I had kids I'd keep them away, I've seen Zack & Miri Make a Porno).
Like people pretending their thumb is a penis? Like people getting shot & still carrying on in a semi-lucid state? Like weed? Then you would enjoy this film. The dialogue is great & the violence is almost slapstick. Theres a car chase & some damge to someones nutsack (not through getting kicked in the balls tho) so that made it for me. It just needed boobs. Where's Christina Ricci these days?
So the tally so far for the 2nd week is 10 films viewed. I have 3 days left this week to watch 9 more films. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 10
What did I accomplish during Day 10 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
10th January 2012 - THE ROCK
Another day, another Nicolas Cage film. To be fair, this could have starred Elmo from Sesame Street and I still would have watched it. I have a thing for Alcatraz. Have had since I saw David Copperfield escape from it in the late 80s (back when he was on tv and wasn't a sex pest).
The plot of this story is some wackjob general steals the worst chemical weapon known to man (from america, not the middle east - why didn't they check those places out for WMD's?), put them in rockets & fire them against americans. Why? Because they can. Except they won't. Cos the general is a softy at heart.
Who do the americans send in to get the americans? James Bond of course. For some reason he was stuck in Alcatraz - must have been in a James Bond novel, can't recall him there in any films, unless it was a deleted scene in Octopussy.... They also sent Nicolas Coppoloa, cos they owed his dad a favour. To be fair, Cage doesn't ham it up in this film, he doesn't have to when working next to the pig (AKA full ham, AKA Sean Connery).
In the end the good guys win, Connery goes off to make League of Extraordinary Gentlemen & is never seen again in public, while Nicolas Cage marries Michael Jackson's ex & makes Knowing...not sure who got the better deal out of that...
10th January 2012 - RUSH HOUR 2
As is the case with most sequels to successful films, if in doubt do a similar story but in a foreign place. Yeah, that will work, the public will lap it up & pay all their money to see it. Don't believe me? Go through some sequels, the latest being the Hangover 2.
Anyhoo, this film reunties Lee & Carter (AKA Chan & Tucker), & has Carter trying to outscream everyone in the film. I really think this guy wants to be Michael Jackson. Jackie Chan is still Mr Unpronounceable - can I get subtitles on this? Fair play to him for his karate moves but surely he would have picked up a better use of Enrish by now?
So the plot has these going after triads who are counterfeiting money that burns red when set on fire. Seriously. Read that again. Set on fire. How many people will think hmmm, I may have a fake bill, yet everyone says it looks good, I know - I'll burn the bastard. Wait, it has a red tinge. It must have been fake, yet everyone says it was fine...damn, I could have got away with it!
This film is sub-par, not as good as the original, though it does involve a "cameo" from Don Cheadle doing another of his crimes against film. Remember, his first crime was that awful English Cockney accent in Oceans Eleven. His latest one is pretending to be chinese. A black man pretending to be chinese. Damn, get the brother some fried chicken!!!!!!
So the tally for the second week so far is 7 films viewed. I have 4 days left this week to watch 12 more films. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
10th January 2012 - THE ROCK
Another day, another Nicolas Cage film. To be fair, this could have starred Elmo from Sesame Street and I still would have watched it. I have a thing for Alcatraz. Have had since I saw David Copperfield escape from it in the late 80s (back when he was on tv and wasn't a sex pest).
The plot of this story is some wackjob general steals the worst chemical weapon known to man (from america, not the middle east - why didn't they check those places out for WMD's?), put them in rockets & fire them against americans. Why? Because they can. Except they won't. Cos the general is a softy at heart.
Who do the americans send in to get the americans? James Bond of course. For some reason he was stuck in Alcatraz - must have been in a James Bond novel, can't recall him there in any films, unless it was a deleted scene in Octopussy.... They also sent Nicolas Coppoloa, cos they owed his dad a favour. To be fair, Cage doesn't ham it up in this film, he doesn't have to when working next to the pig (AKA full ham, AKA Sean Connery).
In the end the good guys win, Connery goes off to make League of Extraordinary Gentlemen & is never seen again in public, while Nicolas Cage marries Michael Jackson's ex & makes Knowing...not sure who got the better deal out of that...
10th January 2012 - RUSH HOUR 2
As is the case with most sequels to successful films, if in doubt do a similar story but in a foreign place. Yeah, that will work, the public will lap it up & pay all their money to see it. Don't believe me? Go through some sequels, the latest being the Hangover 2.
Anyhoo, this film reunties Lee & Carter (AKA Chan & Tucker), & has Carter trying to outscream everyone in the film. I really think this guy wants to be Michael Jackson. Jackie Chan is still Mr Unpronounceable - can I get subtitles on this? Fair play to him for his karate moves but surely he would have picked up a better use of Enrish by now?
So the plot has these going after triads who are counterfeiting money that burns red when set on fire. Seriously. Read that again. Set on fire. How many people will think hmmm, I may have a fake bill, yet everyone says it looks good, I know - I'll burn the bastard. Wait, it has a red tinge. It must have been fake, yet everyone says it was fine...damn, I could have got away with it!
This film is sub-par, not as good as the original, though it does involve a "cameo" from Don Cheadle doing another of his crimes against film. Remember, his first crime was that awful English Cockney accent in Oceans Eleven. His latest one is pretending to be chinese. A black man pretending to be chinese. Damn, get the brother some fried chicken!!!!!!
So the tally for the second week so far is 7 films viewed. I have 4 days left this week to watch 12 more films. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 9
What did I accomplish during Day 9 of this challenge? Well, I watched the following:
9th January 2012 - THE GOLDEN CHILD
This was Eddie Murphy in his prime, coming just after Beverly Hills Cop blew the box office away. Does this film work? Lets look at the checklist: lead actor providing funny wisecracks? Check. Lead actress getting her kit off? Almost, bra & pants left on, but will give it a check for now. A brit as the villain (cos we do play them well)? Check. Use of swear words that are no longer used in film? Check. It has a midget in it too. Well, its a kid, but thats really just a small adult so I'll take that.
This film though has 2 things going for it though. 1) The Demon looks damn good (Phil Tippett was in charge - he did the Rancor in Return of the Jedi) & scary to young kids. 2) The band Ratt actually became famous for the use of their song Bodytalk in the film. Forget Round & Round (their other hit), they were the band that Eddie Murphy made.
9th January 2012 - COLLATERAL
I have actually owned this film for a number of years but can't believe that I've never actually watched it. In fact, last night I watched my housemates copy whilst I was eating my dinner. First impression of this film? I never knew Philip Schofield could act as well as that - he's come a long way from gordon the gopher to professional hitman in his time...
As with Heat, Michael Mann has done it again. A pure awesome story that shows Tom Cruise can, on the odd occasion, act. Granted, he was much funnier as Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder, but this isn't a comedy (I just like seeing celebrity douches dressed in fat suits. Apart from Martin Lawrence. He the bomb yo).
I've sat through the band Wicked Wisdom. If you don't know them they're Jada Pinkett-Smith's band. They were at Download 2006. They were shit. They were only cheered cos Big Willy Style was getting jiggy with it on stage. That was 30 minutes of my life I won't ever get bad. How does this relate to Collateral I hear you ask. Well, I sat through shit with Jada Pinkett-Smith previously, but in this film she is cute. Kinda hot. She has a mahusive head but I still would. And thats a mark of a good film.
9th January 2012 - NATIONAL TREASURE
Can't beat a bit of Disney right? Granted its not animated but I love the treasure hunt feel of this film, especially with Nicolas-all I can do is ham the screen up I really should play Porky the Pig-Cage in the lead role.
The story relates to treasure being moved around following the Crusades & the Masons putting ciphers & maps on the back of the Declaration of Independence. Its a smart move. I once wrote a film like this. it involved finding a map hidden within a map, which itself was hidden in a map on a map. I called it wheres the map? It was going to star Adam Sandler til I got bored & turned it into the script for Super Squirters 23.
And for the second film today, you have a brit (Sean Bean) as the baddy. Sheffield accents dont really make us look scary though.
So, the tally for the 2nd week is now 5 films viewed. I have 5 days left this week in which to watch 14 more films. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
9th January 2012 - THE GOLDEN CHILD
This was Eddie Murphy in his prime, coming just after Beverly Hills Cop blew the box office away. Does this film work? Lets look at the checklist: lead actor providing funny wisecracks? Check. Lead actress getting her kit off? Almost, bra & pants left on, but will give it a check for now. A brit as the villain (cos we do play them well)? Check. Use of swear words that are no longer used in film? Check. It has a midget in it too. Well, its a kid, but thats really just a small adult so I'll take that.
This film though has 2 things going for it though. 1) The Demon looks damn good (Phil Tippett was in charge - he did the Rancor in Return of the Jedi) & scary to young kids. 2) The band Ratt actually became famous for the use of their song Bodytalk in the film. Forget Round & Round (their other hit), they were the band that Eddie Murphy made.
9th January 2012 - COLLATERAL
I have actually owned this film for a number of years but can't believe that I've never actually watched it. In fact, last night I watched my housemates copy whilst I was eating my dinner. First impression of this film? I never knew Philip Schofield could act as well as that - he's come a long way from gordon the gopher to professional hitman in his time...
As with Heat, Michael Mann has done it again. A pure awesome story that shows Tom Cruise can, on the odd occasion, act. Granted, he was much funnier as Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder, but this isn't a comedy (I just like seeing celebrity douches dressed in fat suits. Apart from Martin Lawrence. He the bomb yo).
I've sat through the band Wicked Wisdom. If you don't know them they're Jada Pinkett-Smith's band. They were at Download 2006. They were shit. They were only cheered cos Big Willy Style was getting jiggy with it on stage. That was 30 minutes of my life I won't ever get bad. How does this relate to Collateral I hear you ask. Well, I sat through shit with Jada Pinkett-Smith previously, but in this film she is cute. Kinda hot. She has a mahusive head but I still would. And thats a mark of a good film.
9th January 2012 - NATIONAL TREASURE
Can't beat a bit of Disney right? Granted its not animated but I love the treasure hunt feel of this film, especially with Nicolas-all I can do is ham the screen up I really should play Porky the Pig-Cage in the lead role.
The story relates to treasure being moved around following the Crusades & the Masons putting ciphers & maps on the back of the Declaration of Independence. Its a smart move. I once wrote a film like this. it involved finding a map hidden within a map, which itself was hidden in a map on a map. I called it wheres the map? It was going to star Adam Sandler til I got bored & turned it into the script for Super Squirters 23.
And for the second film today, you have a brit (Sean Bean) as the baddy. Sheffield accents dont really make us look scary though.
So, the tally for the 2nd week is now 5 films viewed. I have 5 days left this week in which to watch 14 more films. Will I do it? Keep an eye on the blog!
Monday, 9 January 2012
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Day 8
So week one has been completed (check out my blog http://jaythegame.blogspot.com/2012/01/2012-1000-film-challenge-week-1.html for a review of whats been watched up until Day 8) and the second week has begun.
What have I watched so far? Let me tell you...
8th January 2012 - TRADING PLACES
What can you say about this film apart from that it's awesome, and that Jamie Lee Curtis has a damn good rack! Dan Akyroyd was great as a smarmy snob turned drunk, whilst Eddie Murphy - in his prime in the mid 80s - was great as a bum who became rich, with the 2 scheming to get the rich stockbrokers who pawned them off against each other to lose all their money. Akyroryd can do snobby & drunk well, whilst Murphy is just funny in general.
Did I mention that Jamie Lee Curtis gets her tits out in this film? She lived through all those horror films just to pop those bad boys out in a 1980s comedy? I'm all for that, am just glad she didn't get her cock out...
8th January 2012 - WEEKEND AT BERNIES 2
Don't hate me. I like the Weekend at Bernies films. Especially this one. Who doesnt like seeing a dancing corpse get harpooned through the head? This has a stupid plot about finding buried treasure on a tropical island. Back in the day I thought that was a great story. Now, not so much. Yet some crazy dead white dude gets harpooned in the head and kicked in the nuts! How is that not great cinema?
Day 8 is out, 17 films required to average out this new week. Will I do it? Read my blogs to find out!
What have I watched so far? Let me tell you...
8th January 2012 - TRADING PLACES
What can you say about this film apart from that it's awesome, and that Jamie Lee Curtis has a damn good rack! Dan Akyroyd was great as a smarmy snob turned drunk, whilst Eddie Murphy - in his prime in the mid 80s - was great as a bum who became rich, with the 2 scheming to get the rich stockbrokers who pawned them off against each other to lose all their money. Akyroryd can do snobby & drunk well, whilst Murphy is just funny in general.
Did I mention that Jamie Lee Curtis gets her tits out in this film? She lived through all those horror films just to pop those bad boys out in a 1980s comedy? I'm all for that, am just glad she didn't get her cock out...
8th January 2012 - WEEKEND AT BERNIES 2
Don't hate me. I like the Weekend at Bernies films. Especially this one. Who doesnt like seeing a dancing corpse get harpooned through the head? This has a stupid plot about finding buried treasure on a tropical island. Back in the day I thought that was a great story. Now, not so much. Yet some crazy dead white dude gets harpooned in the head and kicked in the nuts! How is that not great cinema?
Day 8 is out, 17 films required to average out this new week. Will I do it? Read my blogs to find out!
2012 1000 Film Challenge - Week 1
So, we're one week into 2012 and I'm one week into my 1000 Film Challenge. A friend of mine advised that I have to average a total of 19 films a week, and this first week (Sunday the 1st to Saturday the 7th January) came with a grand total of 21 films watched.
For those that are following my blog, hopefully you will have noted my irreverant take on each of the films I watched, so I won't detail them here (they are available to view on this blog at any time).
In order to keep my blogs down to just the films I watch on a particular day, upon completion of a week I will list the films seen during it, whilst providing my daily take on the films I have watched. This will also mean that, once a month, I will list the entirety of the films watched during that period.
Lets start off with week 1!
WEEK ONE - 1st January to 7th January 2012
The Animal
Apollo 18
Blades of Glory
Cedar Rapids
Coming to America
Eraser
Fantastic Four
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Final Destination 5
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Hostel 3
House on Haunted Hill
Kingpin
The Last Exorcism
Lost In Translation
The Money Pit
Scott Pilgrim vs the World
Scream 4
Stir Crazy
Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny
Under Siege
Week one provided 21 films for my viewing pleasure. As week 2 begins, I'm left with just 979 films to see...keep reading this blog to see how I do!
For those that are following my blog, hopefully you will have noted my irreverant take on each of the films I watched, so I won't detail them here (they are available to view on this blog at any time).
In order to keep my blogs down to just the films I watch on a particular day, upon completion of a week I will list the films seen during it, whilst providing my daily take on the films I have watched. This will also mean that, once a month, I will list the entirety of the films watched during that period.
Lets start off with week 1!
WEEK ONE - 1st January to 7th January 2012
The Animal
Apollo 18
Blades of Glory
Cedar Rapids
Coming to America
Eraser
Fantastic Four
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Final Destination 5
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
Hostel 3
House on Haunted Hill
Kingpin
The Last Exorcism
Lost In Translation
The Money Pit
Scott Pilgrim vs the World
Scream 4
Stir Crazy
Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny
Under Siege
Week one provided 21 films for my viewing pleasure. As week 2 begins, I'm left with just 979 films to see...keep reading this blog to see how I do!
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